Flying Blind
by GoodnessGraciousMe
Summary: Bella is a blind brunette, just trying to keep her head above the surface through highschool. She doesn't want any trouble. Trouble finds her though, in the form of the Cullen clan and it's last singleton, Jasper Whitlock.. But is this visionless valentine as sunny as she seems? It's true that all is fair in love and war, but can the same be said for vampires and vision?
1. Blind brunette

**(Hey guys! This is a new multi chapter story for you ^_^ It's a little AU. Bella is blind, and the story starts at the very beginning, but Edward and Alice are a mated couple. This is a Jasper/Bella. I love them, okay?)**

**Third person POV**

A tall brunette girl with clouded over eyes, a white cane and a heavy looking bag walked through the mostly empty corridors and out into the parking lot, chewing on her full lower lip and tapping the cane against the ground as she went.

Two big rowdy boys ran along the pathway, yelling and throwing a soccer ball back and fourth. The ran past her, and one shoved her violently which resulted in her toppling over, the bag and its contents spilling out over the gravel. She let out a loud yelp as she fell, dropping the cane. The two boys laughed.

**Jasper POV**

As I walked out the school I felt a spike in panic and distress nearby, so I meandered around the building to find the object of Eddie boys god given disappearance, Isabella Swan, muttering under her breath and raking her hands along the ground, in what I can only guess is an attempt to find her cane and possessions. I rush over, ever eager to help someone who looks so helpless, and when I approach she swivels towards the sound of my footsteps

"P-please" she shrinks back "Can you help me..?"

her hands gesture to the mess around her

"I- I don't know where everything went..."

I chuckle and kneel down, first picking up her cane and placing it in her hand so she can get up. While I pick up the rest of her things she shuffles her feet nervously

"I'm Bella.." she pressed her lips together and tilts her head to the side.

I nod, standing up and placing the strap of her bag over her shoulder. Her blank brown eyes flicker up to me

"I'm Jasper." I reply, taking a step back when her cane taps against my foot.

"Can I give you a ride home?" I ask, looking around the parking lot, empty bar my own car "It wont do you any good to walk home, the weather changes so easy around here"

Bella laughed lightly, and the sound brightened her face, her head tilted towards the sky and she took a deep breath

"It's not going to rain today" she assured me, and she seemed so certain, confident about the assumption that I couldn't help but smile

"Then at least let me walk you home?" I asked, pleased when she shrugged and nodded

"Sure, why not." She started off towards the school gates and the world outside, shifting her bag on her shoulder, and I followed after her

"What do you look like?" she asked, after a few minutes of silence.

"Well.." I started, wringing my hands together "I'm about six foot.. Blond curly hair that stops a few inches below my ears, my eyes are a little odd looking, sorta almond shaped and gold, I have pretty nice lips for a guy I think, middle highish cheekbones and I am very very pale." she giggled, her footsteps slowing  
>"That's very specific.. Most people don't take as many things into consideration, I can get a pretty accurate picture of you now, so thanks" I slowed my steps to match hers, kicking a stray stick from her path<br>"Well, you're blind.. If I only tell you I have gold eyes and blond hair I'm just hovering blond hair and gold eyes to you, and that's hardly useful"

She laughed this time, tossed back her head, opened her mouth and laughed, her brunette hair shaking

"That's what most people are!" She exclaimed, her hands making an excited gesture "I ask people to tell me what they look like and from that day on I'm just surrounded by a sea of floating eyes and hair! It's awful!" she giggled, her loud attitude simmering down quickly

"It sounds infuriating" I turned around a corner with her, to see her little house tucked away in the corner.

"You were right, Bella, it didn't rain" I laughed, reaching out to ruffle her hair. She grinned "Yeah.. It didn't smell like it would" she smiled wistfully and tucked some hair behind her ears "Thank you for walking me home" she gave me a small nod, and spun around, tapping her cane on the floor as she walked to her door. I watched, and she gave a small wave over her shoulder before disappearing into her house.

I ran back through the forest to my own home, to find the 'family' all doing their own thing, Alice and Edward were snuggled on the sofa, Rosalie was sketching, Emmet was playing a video game and Esme and Carlisle were both reading.

"She's a keeper, Jasper" Alice said dreamily "Keep an eye on her"

Edward laughed, wrapping an arm around hair waist and nuzzling her cheekbones

"Can it love birds!" Rosalie quipped, throwing a pencil at their heads. They ducked, and she stomped over to me, pulling me into a hug "They've been driving me nuts all day!" she complains, flicking her hair over her shoulders "But how is the kid... Isabella, right?" her eyes softened, and she pressed her lips together, concern washing over her. Rosalie was quite compassionate when it came down to it, and she had sympathy for the girl after seeing her struggle to adjust to living somewhere entirely new.

"She prefers Bella" I correct her quickly, having clearly seen the irritated look on the girls face when that chubby blond kid kept calling her 'Isabella' and that tall Jessica girl who instantly dubbed her 'Izzy' "She's good, I walked her home after helping her get her things, two rowdy gits knocked her over, I swear it was on purpose too"

Rosalie's eyes darkened and Emmet walked over, winding an arm around her shoulders, which helped to ebb the flow of anger she was emitting

"Perhaps we should keep an eye on her?" he suggested, his innocent puppy dog eyes allowing us to forget what would happen if we got too close too her "Just until she's found her feet... She didn't really look like she was having any fun at that table today at lunch, if we helped her get her confidence she could find her own friends!"

Emmet clapped his hands, ecstatic at the blinding simplicity behind his plan

"Edward can't get a read on her" Alice pipped up, tugging at the sleeves of her sweater "I can't get a clear grip on her future either.. So maybe Emmet is right, we should keep an eye on her, just for a little while"


	2. Kiss

**The next day, school cafeteria, lunch**

**Bella POV**

Deep breath. Hold your head up. Don't slouch. Don't cry. Don't hyperventilate.

I ran the mantra through my head as I made my way through the room, nodding absently at whatever incessant chatter Mike was insisting on. He kept one hand on my elbow in a gesture that was a little too familiar for my liking, to guide me dutifully through the hall, even though I insisted I already had the lay out memorized, which I did and Mike had better steer to the left pretty fast if he wants to avoid that nearby table.

Mike's ramblings cut off with a loud "Oww, fuck!"

I laughed, pulling my elbow from his hand "Table, Mike?" I asked, feigning innocence "You aught to look where you're going" I grinned, and tapped my cane along the floor as I walked out to the courtyard and what I knew would be an empty table I could sit on to eat my lunch in peace.

I reached the door and pushed it open, sighing when the fresh air hit my face. I took a deep breath in through my noise "Gonna rain later.." I mumbled, more to myself than anyone else, just to add more sensation to the blank world around me. Stepping out into the courtyard I walked until I felt the draping leaves of a willow tree brushing against my hand, and then I walked through them, stepping into my own little discovered oasis. I tapped my cane to the ground until I felt it hit against the tree trunk, at which point I sank to the floor, crossed my legs, and rested my back against it.

I heard footsteps, just outside the sheltering willow branches. I took a breath in through my nose, filtering past the smell of grass and wood to find a sweet, almost sickly smell. Jasper. Not just Jasper though, more of them, too many footsteps for just one. I help my breath, counting. Five at least. The whole Cullen gang, then. I heard the soft whisper of leaves being pushed aside, and their footsteps grew louder, the smell stronger

"Hello Bella" Jasper spoke fist, to my left "It's very nice out here, mind if me and the others join you?"

I was a little irritated at the idea. This was my hiding spot. I heard a chuckle, lighter than Jaspers, but still a man "Don't worry, we wont tell anyone" the voice was more stereotypical American, less Texan. I shrugged, gesturing that they should sit down. I listened carefully, noting that they all sat in a circle, Jasper still to my left, and the male that had already spoken sat to my right.

"Mind introducing yourselves?" I asked "I already met Jasper, but I don't know the rest of you..."

The male to my right spoke first "I'm Edward, six foot two, coppery auburn kind of hair, carefully gelled into disarray, long face, high cheekbones, gold eyes"

I nodded, noting that he didn't take a breath in after he spoke. I reached out my hand until I hit his hair, and I had a feeling he had ducked. He was right, gelled into disarray was the only way I could think of describing his hair. It made me laugh "Okay, next"

I heard a shuffle, next to Edward "I'm Alice" a girls voice, high and twinkling, kind of like lights, but confident. "I'm five foot, black hair that's cut short and flicks out at the ends, gold eyes, heart shaped face, people say I'm like a pixie" she giggled after speaking, and I heard Edward wrap an arm around her shoulders. I nodded again "right, hello Alice"

The next voice to cut in was smooth and light, more California girl sounding than Alice "I'm Rosalie" I heard a smile in her voice "Ice blonde hair that reaches my waist, five foot six, oval shaped face, round gold coloured eyes, usually wearing heels" someone kissed the top of her head, and she laughed softly, blurring the edges of the ice queen image I had put in her place

"And I'm Emmet" a voice boomed, next to Jasper on my left "Six foot two, short dark brown hair, big grin, gold eyes, pudgy face" I could hear that grin in his voice, and it made me smile

"Yeah and lets not forget built like a bear.." Jasper mumbled. He made a sound of annoyance when I heard Emmet punch him in the arm, and Edward snickers.

"So yeah..." I chew on the corner of my lip "Nice to meet you all" I laughed nervously

"Bella" Rosalie's smooth voice cut in "You just moved here with your dad, right? Where's your mom?"

I decided I liked Rosalie in that moment. She was good at conversation.

I picked at my salad as I talked, swirling the fork around "My mom is back in Phoenix" I started "With her new husband, Phill, he's a minor league base baller and they're moving up to Jacksonville together for his career, and I didn't really fancy it so I decided to spend some time with my dad"

"Oops!" I heard Alice get up, her clothes rustling "C'mon Eddie, we have studying to do!" Edward was dragged up, his protests fading away as the two of them disappeared past the willow tree

"Yeah! Emmet we have to go speak to mr varner about that science project!" Rosalie and Emmet leave next. Just me and Jasper.

I heard him sigh, noting that he was closer than before

"My friends are bad at subtle exits" he spoke gently, drawing out his words and making me shiver, and I could feel his breath against my neck which certainly wasn't helping. He started running his hand along my arm, and leaned in closer "I saw you with Mike earlier" he muttered, and I could hear distaste in his voice, like he didn't like my choice of friends "You didn't look very comfortable" his musings continued, and I was becoming entirely too distracted by his hand on my arm and his breath against my neck, I barely caught his next words "But here we are, and you don't seem to mind this... Contact at all."

I blinked slowly, trying to retain my rational thoughts through the buzz of electricity his touch created "Um.." I stammered "I don't mind.." he chuckled

"Good" his hand moved up my arm and across my shoulder and slowly creped around to the back of my neck cold like ice. I leaned forward and his breath was on my lips.

Then our lips are touching, and I yelp, brought crashing back to reality by the startling realization that I've known this man for less than two days and I was about to make him the first man I ever kissed. I pull away from him, jumping up and grabbing my things, abandoning my lunch and sweeping past the whispering leaves of the willow tree to run back into the crowded cafeteria.


	3. Music

**Guys I am humbled and flattered by the response this story is getting! 10 reviews and only 2 chapters! I was looking for a good J/B fic to read and sob over and on the very first page I found my own story! This is really great, thank you so much. I'll try to alternate between Jasper/Bella POV every chapter if you guys like that, let me know what over POV's you'd like to see!**

**Jasper POV**

I ran a hand over my face, watching Bella in her black skinny jeans and slouchy purple sweater as she ran back into the school. Away from me. I had no idea what on earth had come over me. Bella just looked so beautiful sat under the dappled light filtering through the branches, her eyes blank but mind clearly whirring, her emotions a subtle cocktail of nerves, anticipation and happiness, and lastly her blood, sweet smelling, yet not tempting. I knew it was there, I knew it would taste divine, but I did not want it. I did not want to hurt her, and with a precious human girl that was so new, so I had crept closer to her, and then even closer, so suddenly hooked onto the strange substance that was the electricity fizzing between us.

Alice crept around the tree and sat down next to me "Jeez Jazzy" she giggled "I know the girl is cute but there's no need to jump her so suddenly" Bless Alice for making such lightness of a dire situation, that one of the most feared vampires had met a pretty human girl and practically started drooling like a hormonal teenager. This kind of plot twist would go wrong for any vampire. A fragile little human girl, with such soft skin and literally blindingly trustworthy eyes, apparently the object of a centuries old vampires affection. I could not allow this to happen. Would not allow this to happen.

Alice groaned, waving a delicate hand in front of my face "Don't even go there Jasper" she pleaded "I can see it, you're over thinking this, just enjoy the ride! I meant what I said. She's a keeper, and if nothing else she's a good person, and she needs someone, just the same as you" there was frustration and excitement exploding from her, and I could see the story spinning through her head. Bella and I would fall in love, get married, and I would change her. They all live happily forever.

I sighed and stood up, brushing grass from my jeans "No Alice" I said sternly "No, we're just looking out for her until she finds friends of her own" Alice stomped her foot "You're always making things difficult!" she exclaims, before storming off in a very Alice fashion that I couldn't help but laugh at, which made her turn around and stick her tongue out at me, which only caused me to laugh harder.

The bell rang, and I listened as students groaned and complained about their last class, wishing the could go home early. I ignored the despairing emotions, instead focusing on one spot of brightness I can feel, elation. Someone is actually happy about their next class? I mean, in other circumstances I'd look forward to what I have next, music, but it seems I am living in tone death town.

Regardless, I follow the feeling, to find _of course _Bella Swan, heading towards her locker and throwing her half eaten salad in the trash on her way. Her steps a lighter, and she's almost skipping, and the crowd moves around her, adjusting itself to let her move with ease and without injuring herself as she walks towards her locker and pulling out a CD. She started humming under her breath as she moved to the music block, and I smiled. Bella has music next too.

**Music class**

When I walked into the room Bella was already sliding a CD into the player, having effectively captured the attention of our teacher, Mr Thomas, other students were milling about and working on their own thing. I paused in the doorway for a moment, listening to Bella talk. She was nervous.

"Don't expect it to be great.." she started, wringing her hands "It's just a couple of things off my channel, nothing special" despite this Mr Thomas was exited, though by now I was totally at a loss as to what they were talking about.

The pounding drums at the start of _Born For This _by _Paramore_ filtered through the speakers "The band wasn't that great.." Bella continued "We mostly just did covers, see" She chewed on her lower lip as the guitar kicked in, then a voice, distinctly not Haley Williams joined in.

_Oh no, I just keep on falling..._

_Where's hope when misery comes calling.._

Bella. Bella's voice. Bella's beautiful voice captured on a CD. It was powerful, with a rock edge to it that said _bite me and I'll bite you back _it was determined and brash, in your face and energetic. You could practically hear her jumping along to the chorus. Mr Thomas was grinning, tapping his foot

"It's not exactly my style" he laughed "But you're good, very good, Isabella"

She grimaced at the name "Bella" she insisted "Call me Bella, and thank you"

Mr Thomas took out the CD and handed it back "Live performance" he grinned "Jasper!" he called out, motioning me in from the door way "Guitar" then he pointed to Edward, who was already sat at the piano "Stay there Edward, we might need you"

Rosalie walked over, leaning on my shoulder as I set the guitar up "I'll play base?" she offered, grinning when Mr Thomas nodded his head while sorting out a mic stand for a nervous looking Bella. Emmet laughed, tapping her on the head as he walked over to the drums

"Eyes up baby bell" he boomed "You might find yourself actually enjoying this"

She grinned, her hands hiding inside the sleeves of her sweater. Edward looked at me, then his eyes swivelled to Bella "Confidence" he mumbled "Give her some confidence, Jasper"

I look back to Bella, and despite her grin she still looks scared. Instead of sub par confidence I make up a mixture of the determination I could hear in her voice, the happiness that usually hugs her like a blanket, and the security she felt when we were alone under the willow tree. I push it towards her and she blinks, dazed for a moment, then she squares her shoulders and steps towards the mic

"What about Alice.." I hear her mumble. Alice's head tilts up, and she laughs "Don't worry about me Bella" she sing songs, dancing towards the girl with a smile on her lips "I'm more the dancer than the musician"

It was true, Alice enjoyed listening to music, but not playing it. She prefered dancing to it.

Emmet caught my eye and grinned "That's what you get?" Bella nodded

"I know that one" she assured him, laughing when the rest of us mumbled our agreements

The beat of the drum. Then me.

_No sir, I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore_

_It's your turn, so take a seat we're settling the final score.._


	4. Make up

**Yes here it is chapter four! In Bella POV for all my lovely reviewers :)) Enjoy~~**

**Bella POV**

_That's what you get when you let your heart win_

_Woaaah..._

thud thud thud da da da da da...

Music.

No vision required.

Its all in the sensations.

That's why I love the music so much. Vision is so very little to do with music. Music is about the sound and the feeling, the vibrations in your feet, the laughter and the melody, the thudding bass notes that help you keep time with your jumping. The clapping and the surprise improvised notes you throw into the mix. Thud thud thud da da da da da...

People were laughing and clapping now. I couldn't tell who. Too many tones to distinguish individuals. But there was a lot. A whole lot. A light set of steps rushed up to my right "That was amazing Bella!" Angela's excited voice squealed "You're soo good!" I laughed and turned to face her, holding my arms out and wrapping her in a light hug

"Thanks Angela" I giggled, taking a deep breath of the soap and new book smell that was my first official friend from Forks. She was wearing another turtle neck today, of course.

More footsteps, more elegant, calmer. Rosalie, or Alice. "Very good, Bella" a smooth voice called, and I could hear a smile in it. Rosalie "You sing beautifully" she continued, and now she's to my right, smelling of an almost sickly sweetness and expensive shampoo

"Thanks Rosalie" I grin "Hey" I continue jokingly "Maybe we should start a band, Bella and the Cullen Clan" she laughs with me and steps closer

"Bella I'd like you to know that I consider you a friend of mine already, as I'm sure the others do too. Would you like to come over for dinner some time?" I can hear nerves in her voice, which melts more of the ice around the ice queen image I have. Dinner with the Cullens.. I could be around Jasper again. Not that it would be a deciding factor or anything...

"Would it be okay if I came tonight?" I chewed on my lip "Charlie will be working late on a case and I don't like being alone in that house yet.." Rosalie clapped her hands together

"Of course it will be okay! I'll call Esme right now!" she made a happy little noise and then ran off

I heard a deep chuckle behind me, and startled, turning around to face the noise "Didn't mean to make you jump, dizzy girl" Jaspers voice sounded apologetic, but like he was holding back more laughs "You have a wonderful voice" he continued "You said channel, though..?"

I felt a blush creeping up on my cheeks "Oh.. I uh.. I have a youtube channel" I explained "It's called BlindBegger, look me up" I smiled, the name of it bringing back charming childhood nostalgia of garbled nursery rhymes. He laughed, and I felt him take a step closer

"Don't get lost in the land of day dreams yet, dizzy girl, we still have the rest of a music lesson to get through" he took another step, his hand resting on my shoulder so he could whisper in my ear "Until we're alone"

The fading blush re-appeared on my cheeks, and he chuckled again "See you at dinner, dizzy girl"

I blinked, tilting my head to the side to listen to his footsteps as they echoed away

Light tip toe-ing footsteps to my left, then a sudden hand on my shoulder that made me yelp and turn around "Jeez what is it with you guys and terrifying me? Can't see! Can't see a fucking thing so don't go around grabbing me if I don't know you're there!"

"Oh.." Alice. Shit. "B-bella I'm really sorry.. I didn't mean to scare you.. I-I just um.. Esme and Carlisle said that they'd love to have you for dinner tonight, they already called and okayed it with Charlie" her hand was still on my shoulder, so I tugged on it and pulled her into a hug

"Sorry Alice.. I just get a little antsy about this kinda crap sometimes, I am totally looking forward to dinner" Alice hugs me tightly and then lets go, and I know my apology made her happy, because she laughs and runs off, yelling at Emmet for pulling goofy faces at me that I can't see, which makes me smile.

The bell rings, and Angela hands my things to me "Have fun at dinner" she laughs "Dizzy girl" I shake my head at her, grinning as she walks off. I decide to head out the fire exit and directly to the car park, knowing Rosalie will be out there, since that's where I heard her running too

"Rosie!" I call out, and she walks towards me, standing to my left

"I just realized.." I start nervously

"I don't wear make up.. And.. A-and" she laughs, effectively cutting me off

"And you have the hots for my brother" she finishes for me

"Don't worry bella boo, I'll sort you out once we get home, Jasper wont be at the house till later since Carlisle called him and asked him to go buy some fizzy pop since we were all out, so lets go, and me and Alice will work our fairy magic" she giggles and wraps a cold hand gently around my wrist, leading me towards her car.

**Rosalie POV, Cullen house**

I couldn't help but laugh at the look on Bella's face. We were stood in the seldom used bathroom downstairs, and I had just finished applying her make up. She looked terrified bless her heart

"Rosalie are you sure I look okay? I can't see it so you have to be honest with me!" she kept saying, over and over. I didn't apply much, because the lucky sod didn't need it. Just a little concealer, some eye-shadow to give her eyes depth, mascara, blusher and a smudge of a light pink lip stain.

"You look wonderful Bella, trust me" I promised, taking her shoulders and guiding her out to the hallway then the living room

"Jasper doesn't like a girl who wear too much make up anyway"

She chewed on her lip, her hands hiding up the sleeves of her purple sweater in a nervous fashion.

"You sure?" she asked, her head tilting to the side as Jasper walked through the door. I caught his eye and winked. He looked at Bella and smiled goofily, trying to lean against the door frame and missing it completely, which caused him to stumble into the sofa.

"I'm one hundred percent certain Bella. Jasper will undeniably.. _Fall _for you when he sees you looking like this" I giggle and pat her shoulder before swivelling her to face Jasper, who is now giving me the evils, but still grinning at the sight of Bella. Emmet looks over at me and pulls a face, Jasper is projecting his emotions again.

_He sure likes what he sees in her _he mouths over, grinning at me.

**Threw a little Rosalie POV in there for all my lovely reviewers!~**


	5. Pizza

**Just throwing it out there that it is likely there will be lemons in this story. Probably not for a while, but yeah, lemons. If I do them then I'll warn you at the start of the chapter. Thank you again for all the lovely reviews! I feel terrible because I never reply but know that I read all of them!**

**Jasper POV, Cullen house**

"Jasper will undeniably... _Fall_ for you when he sees you looking like this"

I glare at Rosalie, then reign in my emotions and plan to jump Emmet when I see what he says to her, then Esme cuts in, her voice stern but happy  
>"Jasper, you wouldn't be about to try and attack your dear brother, would you? In front of a guest as well, you should be ashamed!" she shakes her head at us, then walks over to Bella<p>

"It's wonderful to meet you dear, I have a pizza in the oven, Charlie told me its your favourite" Bella grins, and nods her head

She looks a little different to earlier today, more defined, awake, she's throwing out nerves and uncertainty. I give her a grin and walk over

"Hello again dizzy girl" I laugh

"I suppose Rosalie hasn't had time to give you the grand tour between various girlie activities, allow me"

I slide my hand into hers. Electric again, like we're connected.

She smiles and nods, and that's all the incentive I need

"Lets start upstairs, hmm?" _where we can be alone_

I send the thought to Edward and see him nod out of the corner of my eye, before me and Bella walk off.

**Upstairs, Jasper's room**

Bella walks around, her hands skimming over the faded and ripped maps adorning the walls, the old flags and recent pictures

"Your room is... Tactile" she grins, her fingers still brushing over the surfaces "I like it, I think, it even smells nice!" she giggles, moving her hands so they run over a faded album cover

"What's in here?" she asks, picking it up and weighing it, flipping it over and feeling across the back of it

"Its very old" her lips press together and she opens it, flicking through the pages

"Not a book.." she tilts head head to the side

"A photo album?"

I can't help but laugh. Questions, never ending questions all the way up the stairs, along the hallway, stopping and asking every second. She's trying to imagine the house around her so vividly.

"Yes, a photo album" I walk over and take it from her  
>"Very very old, so be careful.. A lot of stuff in here is old" she smirks and leans towards me, one eyebrow raised cockily<p>

"Even... You?" she laughs, the diamond dust and honey dew scent of her washing over my face

"Are you old, Jasper?" her brunette hair brushes over her shoulders, and for once I'm not focused on trying to figure out a persons emotions, because they're so clear on her face. Curiosity. Determination. Uncertainty.

"Because I can't think of anyone with skin this cold" she places her hand back in mine to demonstrate before continuing

"Except perhaps, a corpse. So how old are you, Jasper?" she sucks her lower lip under her teeth in an adorable fashion.

"Old enough to be one of the walking dead" she blinks, and the cold question in her eyes disappears, replaced with light humour as she takes a step back, chuckling

"Or am I just being ridiculous" there's no upwards infliction, no indication that this is a question, more a statement.

Throughout her musings, she wasn't scared. Not once. I am now, though. Scared that she knows. Scared that she will know. Scared what will happen if she knows. Scared. There's a crashing down stairs, and I know they heard every word.

"Dinners ready!" Esme calls out, and it would take a vampire to hear the note of panic in her voice as Bella grins, and takes my hand again to let me guide her down the stairs back into the dining area.

**The dining room**

Bella chewed lazily on her pizza, her legs swinging from her chair, un-able to reach the floor

"Jasper?" she enquired, one finger twirling a lock of chocolate toned hair round and round

"why does it seem like your family has no appetite?" a soft giggle leaves her lips before she continues

"I mean, you never ate at school, and now you're barely eating your pizza"

Just like that we all pick up the two slices of pizza on our plates and started chewing on them. I could feel irritation and certainty rolling off her as she rolled her milky brown eyes and grinned, finishing off the last of her own pizza. She licks the crumbs off from around her lips, and I can't help but imagine that sinful tongue licking other things...

Edward kicks me under the table and glares at me  
>"You just me her!" he hisses, and I have to hold in a laugh. Edward is great, but he's a prude. Bella is sexy and that's not something I have to know her for a long time to understand. Edward rolls his eyes and gets up to pick up the plates<p>

"I'll clean up, mom" he says, kissing Esme on the cheek and dodging around the foot Emmet sticks out to to trip him up.

Bella hums lazily under her breath

"Can we go back upstairs, Jas?" it's not really a question, as she gets up and takes my hand  
>"C'mon, take me upstairs, I wanna talk to you" I laugh, throwing a lazy wave to my family over my shoulder as I walk her up the hallway and back along to my room, once we get in she drops down onto the bed and crosses her legs over<p>

"Jasper, what do I look like?" she asks, leaning towards me when I sit across from her

"Because people always tell me the same, brown hair, brown eyes. I want to be able to _see _who I am, Jasper" she sounds frustrated, and tugs on a lock of mahogany hair, biting down on a dint in her lower lip.

"Well..." I start, untangling the hair from her finger and twisting it around my own

"First of all, your hair isn't just brown... It's caramel and chocolate with streaks of black and auburn with honey tones.." she sucks her lower lip into her mouth and stares up at me, her doe eyes un-blinking  
>"And you have these big round eyes the colour of chocolate milk" that makes her chuckle, and her eyes light up gently<p>

"Your lips are all... Uh.. Pink.. and um.. Nice" she giggles

"And you have nice cheekbones" I take a risk, leaning forward to brush my fingers lightly along her cheek, and she leans into the touch, a soft smile tilting up the corners of her lips, her eyes fluttering and closing.

"You have long arms, and a small waist" I run a hand along her arm, then skim it quickly along her hips

"Wide hips.. Like... An hour glass"

she hesitates for a moment  
>"Is that.. good" she murmurs, her eyes opening, remaining half lidded and dazed<p>

"Very good" I promise, leaning in towards her again. She hmms under her breath, closing the gap and pressing our foreheads together and closing her eyes again, taking a deep breath in

"Lets stay like this forever" she sighs, and I smile, bathing in the content feeling she radiates.

**Aw wow I had some major block with this chapter I am so sorry! **


	6. Vintage

**(Fyi, in my story they don't sparkle. I didn't like it. They can't stay in the sun without sunglasses and if they're in it too long they begin to get drained of energy k)**

**Bella POV**

As I sat with Jasper, our foreheads touching, his hair tickling the side of my face, the sweet smell of his breath washing over me, I realize something that should come as a shock, should crash into me like some kind of tornado or tsunami, but instead it's just a quiet sort of thought, like clouds parting so you can see the sun.

I am comfortable. With Jasper. This close to Jasper. I am not a blind girl when Jasper is around, I am just a girl.

Someone leans in, I am not certain who. There is a clash of teeth and sucking lips and sweeping velvet tongues. I refuse to call it a kiss. Not my first kiss with a man I have known for only a few days who may or may not be human.

His hands settle against my waist, and I get brave, reaching out and brushing my thumbs across his face and along the strong line of his jaw. I can no longer picture the room around me, just Jasper and I sat together, impossible electricity crackling in the small spaces between our bodies.

Again we sit, in almost silence.

"You should go"

His voice is quiet, drawn out, reluctant to say it. As subtle as it is the rejection stings, and I wrench my hands away from his face, as if he's gone from freezing cold to burning hot. I don't speak, just swing my legs around and stumble off the bed.

He has the decency to help me down the stairs and out to a car, Rosalie is sitting in the drivers seat.

For a while neither of us speak, then "Jasper's fond of you, really"

I ignore it, instead staring glumly ahead, counting the rain until it all blurs into one big mass of water.

**Rosalie pov, back at the Cullen house**

"What the hell happened?" I screech, storming over to a befuddled looking Jasper. He gives me a glare, then turns back to the tv

"I remembered she was human" he whispers, running a hand over his face "that I can't afford to hurt her because I think she's pretty" he looks lost, kinda crumpled and dazed by the whole thing "It's not even her smell" he laughs bitterly "The one girl I like and it's not for her smell, if it were I could justify killing her" I take a step back, a little stunned by his blunt language.

"C'mon Rosie, it's true. If I liked her for her smell I could just kill her, and you'd all get over it"

He has a point, though. That's the worst part.

"I like Bella!" Emmett defends his adopted human dutifully, filling the big brother role he's always wanted.

"She's funny! And she's smart too" I roll my eyes at my dope of a husband, grinning and blowing a kiss to thank him for showing support

"And breakable" Jasper argues "So breakable, and I refuse to be the man who breaks her" he smashes a fist into Edward's nearby piano before blurring out the back door, despite Esme's calls to come back and talk to her about it.

Carlisle looks on, dismayed "He's got a crush on the blind girl" and suddenly it seems so ridiculous. The vegetarian vampire who struggles with his diet has a crush on a divine smelling blind human girl.

We start laughing, and it lightens the mood, brushes away the dark fact.

That if the divine smelling blind human girl and the vegetarian vampire who struggles with his diet get too close, then neither of them will come out of the other side happy, and it's unlikely they'll both come out the other side at all.

**Two days later (Sunday, Jasper POV) Port Angeles**

I wander through the town, hands in pockets, dark sunglasses on. Hoping I'll spot Bella, that she might be in town today.

There she is, stood on the corner of 54th street, rocking gently back and fourth on her heels, brunette hair drifting in the gentle breeze, her sunglasses, like mine, are dark. She's wearing black flip-flops, a pair of red high waisted denim shorts and a faded Beatles t-shirt. She smells faintly of booze, and her emotions are a tell tale cocktail of fatigue and slight dizziness. Factor in the aspirin she just swallowed with a gulp of water and it's clear she's nursing a mild hangover with sunshine and retail therapy.

She tilts her head to the side, and towards me, as if she knows I'm there, on the other side of the street. Her nostrils flare, a soft smile lights up her face, and she waves

"Jasper" she doesn't yell, just speaks loud enough to be heard over the passing foot traffic. I push through the people towards her "Hello dizzy girl, how did you know I was there?" she smirks, and her nostrils flare again "Everyone smells different, you smell of overly sweet grass and hay" her cheeks tinged pink, and she turned her head away from me

"I was just on my way to that old vintage store around the corner" excitement radiated from her, and I couldn't help but laugh. She raised an eyebrow at me "I like vintage stores, okay? They carry such nice things..." she twisted the ring on the index finger of her right hand. It was thin and a faded silver with a chunk of amethyst sunk into the middle, which sparkled dully in the noon sun.

I hmm under my breath, unsure of how to act considering the way things were left two days ago "Look, Bella" I start, running a hand lazily down her arm, too quickly addictive to the sharp electricity contact with her throws off to stop myself "I want to apologize for my rude behaviour the other day.. I was out of line" she begins chewing on her lower lip "I just.. we've only known each other a short while, and I assure you that you're one of the most amazing girls I've had the pleasure to meet here, and I wouldn't want to push you away before we've gotten to be friends"

Her smile turns to a grin, and she reaches out, sliding her hand into mine "Everyone makes mistakes" one elegant shoulder is lifted in a shrug, and like that, it is forgotten as she begins towards the vintage store, named _vintage jems_, apparently taking me with her. We push through the door, and are immediately assaulted by the smell of vanilla and dust, Bella's nostrils flare once more and nostalgia wafts out from her. She spends a lot of time in these kinds of stores.

A soft 'ahh' left her lips as she entered the store and slid her dark sunglasses up into her hair. The lights in here were muted and subtle, candles sat lit in little alcoves at random intervals in the walls, which are adorned with scarves and necklaces swinging from ornate bronze hooks.

An elderly lady with long wavy hair smiled at us from her stool behind the counter, where she was reading a book on crystal healing. Bella gave her a nod before settling in and beginning to trail her fingers across lush velvet dresses and crinoline blouses, often skimming her other hand across an item to figure out what it is.

She picks up a deep blue crushed velvet dress with a scooping neckline and an a-line skirt.

"Jasper" her speaking is muted in her too, like she senses the atmosphere "What colour is this?" she tilts her head to the side, running a hand across the dress once more

"Deep blue, dizzy girl" I answer "Like the ocean, and it would look lovely on you" she swishes the luxury fabric, running it through her fingers, debating.

We stand there for a few minutes, until I start to laugh "dizzy, just let me buy you the pretty dress, and in return, you can buy us dinner later this evening" she laughs with me and nods her head "alright, deal" she holds the dress out to me and kisses me on the cheek as she does, her lips lingering there a few seconds more as she whispers thank you in my ear.

I want to keep the moment perfect for a while longer, so I wind an arm around her waist and pull her in for a soft hug, giving her plenty of wiggle room to pull away if she wants, but she doesn't. So we stand there, the dress squashed between our bodies, just being in that moment.

She nuzzles her head into my neck and grins before stepping back, laughing in an almost nervous manor, and my hand rests against her side for a beat more, then I move away and step over to the cash register.

I decide against telling Bella how pricey the dress is in comparison to how much dinner will cost. The dress really will look amazing, and I figure if I can afford it, why not spend the cash on the girl I wish to be my friend.

I hear her singing in the background as she continues to drift around the store, her soft footsteps rhythmic and steady as she wanders.

"Bella" I call out once I've purchased the dress "Are you ready to leave?" she turns towards my voice and nods her head gently "Can we go and sit by the port for a while? I'm not feeling very... Energetic today" I have to chuckle as she avoids the word hangover, taking her hand and leading her back out into the sunshine. "So, what was the occasion, hmm?" I muse as we walk through the city

she giggles, knowing she's caught "Charlie's birthday, so it was just us and a few family friends having a little quiet party, drinks, the rangers game, that sorta thing" I drape an arm across her shoulders as we settle down to sit on the wooden docks, our surroundings much quieter out here.

She rests her head against my shoulder, and I'm quite content to sit out here for a few hours if she wishes, my energy restored by her emotions and standing around in that vintage store out of the sunshine. We skim pebbles and exchange quiet conversation, and I decide it's a very good thing we're alone, with none of the family to disturb us. I rub my thumb across her arm where it rests, and she sighs gently, pressing further into my side

"I like spending time with you already Jasper" she sing songs, swishing her ankles in the water "I think we'll be good friends" she slings her arm around my hips, tapping her fingers lazily against my side in a soft rhythm "oh, but don't ever tell me how much that dress costs" she giggles, her cheek brushing against my shoulder "vintage stores are always expensive.." she shuffles closer to my side, throwing off relaxed and happy vibes, wrapping them around the both of us.

I wish we could sit out here forever, watching the sun rising and setting, and decide that later, after dinner, that's what we'll do. Come out here and watch the sun set before I take her home. My hand twirls through a lock of her hair, sending more of her scent into the air. I drink it in, letting it cling to my clothes, hoping to hold on to it after she's gone.


	7. Spin

**(Been getting an amazing response so far, keep it up guys and thank you!)**

**Bella POV, six pm, her house.**

I drop back onto the bed, waiting for Rosalie to pick up her phone, cursing under my breath "Hello?" her voice sings, even on the end of a mobile, and I am hit with jealousy once more. "Rosie, I need your help! I think I kind of maybe have a date with Jasper tonight and I don't know what to dooo!" I wail, realising how contrite I sound when Rosalie laughs.

I know it's silly, I've barely known Jasper a week but there's something there and I'll be damned if I'm throwing it away to end up dating Jacob to keep Charlie happy. "keep calm Bella, I'll be at yours soon as to give you a hand, help is on the way chick, so don't freak out, you'll get spots!" she laughs again before hanging up, and I'm left, lying in the dark to wait for her arrival.

**Ten minutes later**

There's a knock on the door, and I shuffle my way down the stairs to answer it. I'm hit with a sweet perfume like smell. Rosalie. "Hi Bella" I can tell from her voice she means business, and she places a hand on my shoulder as she sweeps past "Lets go up to your room so I can see what we have to work with here" I nod and we pace up the stairs. She takes my shoulders and guides me down to sit on the chair in front of my vanity.

She starts to sift through my wardrobe, occasionally making a vague noise of disapproval, until she apparently finds something she likes "I've never seen this velvet dress before, it's beautiful, when did you get it?" I wave a hand absently in the air "The ocean blue one? Jasper bought it for me today, that little store on 56th street" Rosalie hmms "Wear it" she decides, placing it on my lap.

I run the velvet through my fingers, taking a deep breath of the ancient vanilla perfume smell, only slightly tainted by Rosalie's touch. "With red converse, to stop it being too formal..." she continues "I know where Jasper is taking you, and we don't want you looking too dressed up, besides he likes relaxed girls better" she shoves me gently towards the bathroom, and I close the door behind me, tugging off my shorts and faded Beatles t-shirt that smells of Phill, because I stole it from him the day I left.

I slide the luxurious fabric over my head, standing and swishing about for a few seconds, enjoying the way the material flows against me. I skin my hands over my waist and hips, unsure. Am I curvy enough to get away with this? Jasper said I was an hourglass, and that was good...

As I muse I step back into my room, sit back down on the stool as Rosalie places a pair of socks in one hand, and my worn red converse shoes in the other "White ankle socks" she explains " just to keep it cute and all" she giggles, and pats my head, polite enough to let me put them on myself, even though it's a little tricky. No spoon feeding me because I can't see. I like this girl.

I swivel around to face her and raise an eyebrow "C'mon princess, I know you're dying to _transform_ me, go ahead" she squeals, pats my shoulder, and gets to work, jibber jabbering away as she does.

I don't mind. I learn a lot about her family and don't have to contribute much myself as she plaits my hair and puts lord knows what on my face, only nodding vaguely now and then, telling her about why I moved here in more detail than the circulating 'she moved in with her father' story that was apparently the talk of the town when I first arrived. It's hardly surprising, such a small place, the tiniest scrap of news has them excited.

"Alright, I'm all done, Jasper should be here soon, so call me when you get back, I want to know all about it!" she snickers, pats my shoulder, and is gone. I sigh, tap my foot, swivel towards the mirror, begging for a reflection.

No matter how many times, no matter how descriptive people are, I can never picture myself. I thank whatever whim made Billy ask Charlie around for drinks tonight, knowing that if he had been here to meet Jasper... It would be awkward.

There's a knock at the door, and I slowly make my way into the hall and down the stairs, still slightly uncertain in this new house, though certain enough not to need my cane, it's an irritating phase but I'll get past it. I reach the door and swing it open, shuffling my feet back to avoid getting hit by it. I know it's Jasper on the other side, overly sweet grass and hay, like he spends his time in a barn surrounded by horses, and I suppose with that Texan twang it's not unlikely that he used too. "Good evening dizzy girl" he takes a step closer, and I can hear a smile in his voice "Would it be alright to hug you?"

I laugh, take a deep breath, nod, relaxing when his arms anchor around my waist, like there was a weight pressing against my chest unit he did. I throw my arms around his shoulders, press my face into his neck, the ice cool of it tickling my nose, I breath in deeply, run a hand into his curly hair. "I'm content to stand here all night honey, but we do have dinner reservations..."

I sigh, step back, my hands still resting on his shoulders "You look beautiful" he whispers, his breath washing against my face as he kisses my cheek before he pulls his arms away, so just our hands curl around each other.

We walk out the door and down the street "Emmett and Rosalie borrowed my car, they've gone to look at some possible universities for Emmett, so I figured we could walk?" I let the question hang for a while, figuring the fact that we continue walking is answer enough "Jasper is this a date?" I ask, swinging our entwined hands lazily between us "Because it feels like one to me.." he laughs, spins me around in a lazy circle "Then it's a date, dizzy girl" the spin ends with our bodies pressed together, my breath catches, I definitely lean in this time, one arm around my waist and then...

"Izzy! Hey Izzy, Jasper!" Mike. Of all the times to cock block, it would be now. Damn him. I sigh, Jasper squeezes my waist, then lets me go. I turn around, and Mike is way too close for comfort, smelling of too much aftershave, doritos, and liquor. I lean back, into Jasper, who doesn't seem to mind. "Hi Mike, we'd love to hang and chat but we're late for something, so.." I start to walk away, knowing Jasper isn't far behind "Hey Izzy don't be like that" out of nowhere, he grabs my arm "I just wanna talk to you" his fingers dig into my skin, I try to pull away "C'mon Izzy" he starts tugging, I scream, he laughs, lets go, pushes my shoulder, I don't think he knows how hard, but I fall.

Jasper's hands are on my hips before I can hit the ground, pulling me against him "I got you, dizzy girl" he murmurs in my ear "You're okay" then louder "Listen Mike, I don't think Bella wants to talk, why don't you just go home" Mike whines "I just need to talk to her" I think he reaches for me again, but I'm moved, Jasper shifts us so his body is partially in front of mine. I hear a growling, like it's coming from Jasper. Impossible.

"O-Okay man, chill, I'm going!" Mike shuffles off, and I release a breath I didn't know I was holding. Jasper is there immediately, putting his jacket around my shoulders, pulling me in for a hug, his chin resting on my head. "You're okay, I got you" he promises, and I notice I'm shaking, comforted by Jaspers touch, which, cold as it is, should bother me, but instead relaxes me, working out the tension and the fear from the moment just passed.

I smile, press a kiss against his shoulder, because unless he ducks that is high as I can reach. He laughs, tilts my head up. We both lean in. This time there are no tipsy teens, no nerves, no family, no school bell. Just a kiss. If hugging Jasper causes an electric current then kissing him is an electric shock, the kind that you see in cartoons, where the character is stuck with their finger in the socket. I don't mind being stuck kissing Jasper, though.

Our bodies mould together, and heat spreads through me. My fingers tug at his hair, he sucks on my lower lip. I moan, he moves his head away. "Dinner reservations.." he reminds me with a sigh. I make a vague mhming noise, pressing kisses against his jaw. I don't ever want to stop kissing Jasper. He tastes like he smells, sweet and dry, like the best wine.

He laughs, pushes gently at my shoulders, ducks his head to look at me "Trust me dizzy girl, I wish we had all the time in the world, and we will.. But dinner reservations!" I groan as he takes my hand, sending us walking off again "Fine, but this better be one damn good dinner!" I laugh, looping an arm around his waist as we go, and he presses a kiss to the top of my head, smiling.

It's moments like this I wish I could see. Remember more than just sounds and smells and touches, I want pictures, real ones, not the ones I conjure up out of descriptions, I want to see if Jaspers hair looks as wiry as it feels, if Edward looks as poncy as he sounds, are Alice's clothes as expensive as they feel? Does Rosalie have piercing blue eyes as I imagine her too? I'll never know.

Is Jaspers smile lopsided, does he have straight teeth, is this leather jacket brown or black..

"Here we are, Dizzy girl, Bennie's.. Hope you like Italian food" I take a deep breath, breathing in spice and hay and grass. "I love it" I giggle as we walk in, immediately greeted by another sickly sweet body, that also smells of sweat and horses "Peter!" Jasper calls out, a grin clear in his voice "Jasper" another Texan, with a thicker accent greets him "Bella, this is Peter, an old friend of mine, he runs Bennie's" I nod, smile, shake his hand. Cold. Like Jasper. "Wonderful to finally meet you, Miss Bella, I've heard nothing but good things I promise, Jasper is nothing if not flattering" I grin, raise an eyebrow "I'll describe Peter to you later, dizzy" Jasper murmurs, his arm wrapping around my shoulders

We stand and chat with Peter for a while, until my stomach gurgles. Jasper laughs, taps his fingers on my shoulder "Table for two, Peter, you know the one" Peter hmms, and we follow after his retreating footsteps.

I take some time to analyse the restaurant, trusting Jasper to take me in the right direction.

Plush high backed suede chairs, varnished wooden floors, bumpy textured wall paper, hushed classical music in the background underneath the swell of talking and laughter, the occasional crying baby.

A chair squeaks against the floor, Jasper guides me to sit down, a menu is placed in my hand.

"Enjoy your meal, love birds..." Peter sing songs as he walks away.

**Okay so a bit of an abrupt ending.. Sorry! Yes, Peter is Peter from the vampire wars. Next chapter will be some Jasper/Bella dating, and maybe some Peter Jasper angsty talking**


	8. Date

**`Sorry this took a while, I've been ill, and very busy with uni work**

**Jasper pov**

Bella dragged her fingers across the table cloth "Silk, Bella" I grinned "Oh, and don't look so sullen, your menu is in braile, I told Peter we were coming" she hummed under her breath, flattery washing over her, evident in the soft smile on her lips, even without the empathy. She flickers her eyes around, tonight they look big and wide, and I suppose Rosalie had something to do with her looks this evening, judging by the perfume smell clinging to her and the winged out black line across her eyelids. She sighs, tilts her head to the side, nervous.

"So, Peter?" she asks, her fingers skimming over the menu, and I can't help but laugh, curious, always curious, so desperate to picture what's around her "Peter.. Well, he's a lot like me in facial appearance, a little bulkier, just over six foot tall with a rounder face and short black hair that stops just above his ears" Bella presses her lips together, gazing intently towards where Peter is stood laughing with some other diners "He's very nice" she shrugs "A little in your face, but plenty nice to make up for it.."

Peter looks over and winks, glad he captured her affection so easily, as I suspected he would. He walks over, a cheeky grin on his face "So, what can I get the happy couple for dinner?" Bella's eyes widen "Oh- Oh I don't think we're really a couple.." she saddens, but turns her gaze to Peter "Can I get the spaghetti resorti, oh and a coke please" she chews on her lip, twirls her hair. All nerves this evening, it seems.

He pats her shoulder gently "Don't seem so nervous, Jaspers a gentlemen if ever I knew one, he'll look after you" her body relaxes slightly, she smiles "Jasper.. What are you having?" I pretend to think for a while before looking at my old friend "I'll have my usual, Peter"

He nods "Alright, I'll have Charlotte bring it over for you just as soon as it's ready" he waves, turning to walk into the kitchen, ruffling the hair of a young boy as he passes. Bella taps her nails against the table, looks over to me "Jasper, what made you decide to ask me... On a date?" her breath catches in her throat on date, surprised, doubtful, but happy. "Well dizzy love, truthfully I'm not sure" her eyebrows furrow together, and I smile "Regardless, you are lovely" Peter stops over with out drinks, coke for Bella and water for me "I want to get to know you, and I feel like this could become.. you and me.. well it- it would be great, is where I'm going with this.. I think dating you would be great"

A blush delicately covers her cheeks through my impromptu speech, and she takes a sip of her drink before laughing self consciously "well.. um... I kinda feel like anything I say now will sound rubbish in comparison to that frankly adorable speech but yeah.. I think being with you would be pretty awesome" she smiles, thanking Charlotte as she conveniently appears with her food "Hello Bella" Charlotte looks over at me, mouthing 'she's cute' "I'm Charlotte, Peters girlfriend, and the chef here.." Bella nods, grins "Hi Charlotte, I guess Jasper's already told you about me..." she chews on a forkful of salmon "Mmm, this is really good" Charlotte sighs, sad. Charlotte's always wished she could taste the food she serves "Thanks my dear, anyway.. I'll leave you both to enjoy your food"

she gives me a smile before walking off, hips swaying as she heads back into the kitchen "Charlotte is blonde" I started before Bella could ask "Darkish blonde, cut short to her shoulders, deep set blue eyes, a short nose, big lips and low cheekbones, quite short, around the same height as you" she nods, a satisfied smirk curling up the corners of her lips "You're not eating again" she states simply, before going back to her own meal.

**After dinner...**

"..And then, the biker falls off the cliff" Bella laughed loudly, that rare head tipped back, holding onto her sides laugh, this is the second time I've successfully coaxed it from her. I share a triumphant look with Peter before sliding out from my chair "I'll walk you home?" I offer, taking her hand and leading her out of the restaurant "Of course" she smiles, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. Charlotte waves at us from the kitchen, wiping a smudge of flour from her cheek, and Peter waggles his eyebrows at me from behind the bar as we leave

we spend most of the walk just chatting, occasionally stopping for a kiss. As we approach her house a tall boy steps out from the tree line. Jacob Black. "Bella" he grins, his face dropping when he sees me "and.. Cullen" he sneers, running up to Bella to pull her into a hug, which she quickly steps out of, not that he notices "Hi Jacob, this is Jasper, my er.. Date" she giggles, squeezing my hand "Right.." he frowns "Charlie just sent me to check up on you.. looks like you're doing fine, i'll tell him you were sat on the couch watching tv, see ya' later" he brushes a hand quickly across her cheek as he walks past. I smile, happy that at least Bella couldn't feel the hostility he aimed towards me.

We reach her door, and she stands on the porch, shuffling her feet. An angel in the lamp light. I extend my hand, tracing over her cheek to cover where he touched her. She sighs, leans into my hand, smiling, pulling a deep breath in through her nose "You're an odd thing, Jasper" she states bluntly, raising an eyebrow "if I believed in such things outside of story books I'd say you weren't human.. But you're just odd" Bella stands up on the tips of her toes, kissing me softly "Goodnight, my odd Jasper" she smiles, drags her thumb across my jaw before stepping inside, waving over her shoulder as she kicks the door shut.

I hear a low whistle behind me, followed by a deep chuckle "You've got it bad, man" Peter laughs as I walk up to him, patting him harder than necessary on the back to watch him stumble "Following me and my date back to hers, Peter?" I ask "Classy, you're a real good friend" he just laughs again, shoving my shoulder "So you know this could end in disaster.. right?" he questions, shooting me a serious look "She's a seventeen year old human girl, Jasper... You're an eternally nineteen year old vampire" I sigh, stop in my tracks to sit on the edge of the forest "I really like her" I answer honestly when he sits down "She's... Unlike any other girl, Peter. Unique! Hell, for starts she's a damn strong mental shield, Edward can't get any kind of read from her, Alice has trouble with her future.. And she's just so.. Interesting! You could hear her over dinner.."

Peter nods sympathetically "You've got it bad, dude" he summarizes "The girl is hot and an awesome conversation.. You're screwed" I sigh, rub a hand over my face "I don't think I could keep away from her if I wanted to Peter... I'm gonna end up killing her, I know it!" he rolls his eyes at me "Or you change her" he offers, chewing on his lip "That's practically the same thing.." I growl "She's got too much going for her for me to end her life for this selfish whim..." He laughs "Oh man, you're missing something so obvious" he grins proudly before continuing "What if she's.. y'know.. The one. Your mate" his emotions are sombre by the end as he mulls this over, and it's all I can do not to punch him in the face.

I should banish this thought, tip it out of my brain before it can take life. But I don't, I let it sit there, knowing it will grow until it occupies my every moment, all I can think about. Bella. My mate. Never... She's too good for that. Peter sighs, stands up "Well.. I better get back before Char figures out I'm gone.. Later buddy" I nod, resting my back against a near tree trunk.

Was I even worthy of someone so pure.. No. She can do better. She deserves better. Still.. I can't help but picture it. Bella. Paler, leaner, with unclouded honey gold eyes and a smile tilting up her lips as she runs through the forest... Then Bella again, leaning up and wrapping her arms around my shoulders, pressing her face into my neck, looking up at me and pressing a kiss against my cheek. Whispering I love you in my ear...

I jump up, punching down the tree I rested against. No. I refuse. Bella is too good. I can't help the direction my feet run in.. Towards Bella. I launch myself silently into the tree outside her window, feeling creepy as fuck "Rose he was so wonderful.." she sighs, talking on the phone as she un twirls the plait in her hair "He made me feel so special... and when we kissed it was like an electric shock.." she snuggles further into my leather jacket, taking a deep breath "I had an amazing time.." she gushes, and they gossip a while longer before she says her goodbyes, and I drop out of the tree, a huge grin on my lips.

A crush. That's all. I just have a crush on her. There's no harm in playing it out.. right? Be with her for a while.. Break up before we leave.. Just a passing romance, nothing gravity changing.. That wouldn't be bad, would it? I consider this as I meander back into the forest and towards home, knowing that I want so much more than a high school fling from Isabella Swan, and knowing I'll have to come to terms with the fact that that's all I'll ever have. As I walk through the door I'm hit by Rosalie, pulling me into a hug "Bella had such a lovely time..." she smiles softly "You're making her very happy, you know Jasper"

Edward looks up from the video game he and Emmett are playing "Personally I think you're getting far too close to her. It's dangerous, especially considering your shoddy control.." I've thought it myself enough times, but hearing him say it makes me snap, and I rush towards him, pinning him up against the wall "I would never ever hurt her" I growl, shoving him once before dropping him to the floor and storming upstairs. I hear Esme yell after me to apologize, but ignore her, and turn to my phone to see it flashing with a text message, from an unknown number.

_Rosalie gave me your number, I hope you don't mind.. I just wanted to say I had a lovely time on our um.. Date tonight, and I hope we can do it again some time? Oh, it's Bella by the way.. though I guess that's pretty obvious so er yeah, I hope you got home alright, tell Peter and Charlotte I appreciate their hospitality. Also I can bring your jacket to school tomorrow.._

_Bella xx_

I smile, dropping back onto my unnecessary bed before texting her back

_Hi dizzy love, first off you can keep my jacket, it's kinda small for me and you looked adorable in it. I had a great time tonight too, of course we'll do it again, and soon I hope.. Can I pick you up for school tomorrow? It's got to __be more fun than walking, right? Charlotte and Peter already love you, now get some rest, remember we have that theory test in music tomorrow, sleep well. Goodnight, dizzy love._

_Jasper xx_

I don't have to wait long before she replies

_I almost forgot about that test, thanks for reminding me! Yeah, you can pick me up, I'll see you in the morning, sweet dreams and goodnight_

_Bella xx_


	9. love bite

**I think I'm going to try and swap pov more often, because writing whole chapters from Bella's pov is very difficult, which is why they take so long, because I can't describe what she sees, so have to describe other feelings and such, thanks for your patience**

**Bella POV, Monday morning**

I sit at the table with my dad, swirling my spoon around a long ago empty bowl "Little restless this morning Bells" he comments as he pulls his jacket on "am I?" I ask, feigning disinterest "Just waiting for my ride to get here.." he chuckles and ruffles my hair "I'll see you later kiddo" are his last words before he's gone. Soon after, there's a knock and I place my dishes in the sink and take a deep breath before stepping back to open the door. Jasper is, of course, on the other side "Morning, Dizzy" he takes a step closer, brushing a strand of hair away from my eyes "I hope you didn't mind my chickening out and waiting for your father to leave before I knocked" he chuckles, places a kiss on my cheek.

"No.. I don't mind" Jasper tilts my head up, places a tender kiss on the corner of my lips before he takes my hand and we walk outside "Good job you offered a ride, it's going to rain soon." I state, taking a deep breath in through my nose. Overly sweet grass, hay, and rain. He hmms, squeezes my hand and opens the car door for me "Your ride, lady Isabella" I laugh, mock curtsey and duck into the car. Leather seats, quiet engine, Bob Marley playing from the cd player. I like this car. Jasper slides into the drivers seat, and we're off "You're wearing the jacket" he remarks lightly, rubbing his hand on my shoulder "Well I figured in case you change your mind.." I run a hand through my hair, unsure if the curls last nights style left it in will look raggedy "I didn't change my mind, and your hair looks very pretty, stop messing with it" he chuckles again, taking my hand.

As we approach the school I feel apprehension settle in my stomach. How are we supposed to act? Are we a couple or just friends? I mentally scold myself for not asking Jasper when I had the chance...The car engine cuts out "I'll come around and open your door, dizzy" he pats my shoulder before sliding out of the car. Walking, then the pop of my own door being pulled open. I jump out of the seat, and wind Jasper's arm around my waist. I figure if I'm going for this I might as well give it some balls. "I'll let you call the shots as far as.. well, the two of us goes, dizzy girl" he murmurs in my ear as we turn away from the car

"Don't tell me.. people are staring" I laugh nervously as he replies that yes, they are. I shrug, reach up to kiss his cheek "Where's the rest of your family today?" I ask, resting my head against his shoulder "Rosalie and Emmett are still looking at colleges, Edward is home ill and Alice is away for two days on a shopping holiday in Paris with an old friend.. "Oh, perhaps we could pop in and check on Edward later? I noticed he wasn't very fond of me and I figure anything to earn brownie points..." Jasper sighs, tightens his arm around my waist "You don't have to worry about what Edward thinks of you, Bella, the others all think you're lovely.." he promises, beginning to walk us up to the school.

I hear Jessica call out my name, and give her a passing wave "So I suppose it's just you and me at lunch today?" I ponder "Sure, if we stay that long, if you like we could ditch early to go see Edward" I hmm in response, shrugging lazily "We'll see, maybe before last period since I only have gym.." he laughs, kisses the top of my head "I like the way you think, dizzy girl" I giggle, lean against his side "Bella!" This time I stop, recognizing the voice of Angela. A quiet, nice girl who I got placed next too in enlgish class "Hi Angie!" I reply, swivelling to make sure I face her "I was wondering if I could enlist your help.." she starts "I'm having some trouble with that Bio homework from mr banner and it's in tomorrow, would you mind coming over after school to help me out?"

I consider it for a moment, then decide I have nothing better to do.. "Sure thing Angela, I'll see you around five?" if I ditch gym with Jasper at half two we can spend time with Edward until around half three and have an hour and a half alone with Jasper.. She breaths a sigh of relief "You're a life saver, Bella!" she thanks me and scribbles down her address before running off "I'll drop you off at Angela's, if you like" Jasper offers, and I nod, twirl a hand through my hair once more "Sure, Charlie is working late tonight so we can hang out at mine after visiting Edward" he sighs happily, presses his lips to my hair "the perfect plan, my dizzy girl"

There it is again. _My. _My dizzy girl my dizzy love. Not in a possessive way, not like I'm something he owns, like someone he shares a connection with. I smile, snuggle further into his side as we move to sit down on one of the benches outside the school "Ready for that test, Jasper?" he squeezes my waist and laughs "Should be easy enough, Edward will be happy he's missing it though, between you and me piano is really all he can do, he never really saw the point in bothering with much else"

I hmm, rest my head against his shoulder, revelling in the cotton soft sensation of whatever t-shirt he had decided to wear today pressing against my cheek "What colours your t-shirt, Jasper?" he laughs again, rubs his calloused palm up my arm "Dark purple, dizzy girl, with long sleeves" I sigh, snuggle further into his side, reach up to run my fingers through his tangled honey hair "Forget to use a comb this morning?" I mock, working gently through a knot at the nape of his neck, he laughs lightly in response, his hand still rubbing at my arm "Alice would kill you.." I continue "Making the most of her absence, I assume? As long as you don't turn up with dreadlocks next week.."

**Towards the end of music class, Jasper pov **

I watch Bella as she tilts her head to the side, listening to the last question buzzing through her ear phones before her fingers ghost lightly across the braile marked keyboard and type out an answer with certainty, a smile tugging at her lips. She seems to realize she's being observed and swivels her head slightly, unknowingly catching my gaze with her milky brown eyes. I study them for a moment as they swirl with thoughts and her un-told secrets, hazel flecks highlighted by the lamp positioned on the desk close to her. She taps her bitten nails against the table in a one-two-three rhythm, and she pulls in a deep sigh, looking forlorn and doe eyed.

The tense set of her shoulders worries me, and I cast a glance to the outside world, checking for potential danger that could harm her, and I saw nothing, so instead I scrutinized her emotions, finding worry and apprehension, but also happiness. Perhaps a more official and time consuming meeting with Edward was on her mind? The bell rang and she picked her bag up from her feet, sliding it over her shoulder. I walk over and pick up her books before she has a chance, kissing her cheek "lunch time" I grin, taking her hand as we walk out of the music block and towards the main school.

I help her put her things in her locker, and we start towards the cafeteria "Do you wanna sit with Jess and Angie or just the two of us?" I ask, noting the frown when Jessica is mentioned "Mike sits with them." she reasons, and I wrap an arm around her waist, pull her closer for a moment and press a kiss to her temple "Then just the two of us" she nods, her hands gripping the back of my neck as she repeats my words in a whisper. Then we break apart, entering the cafeteria, and her tawny eyes widen slightly at the rise of the noise levels.

We pick up our food, pizza and a sprite for her, I grab the same. Then, I take us outside. To the willow tree.

She smiles, breathing deeply through her nose "the willow tree?" she laughs, drags us forward and through the canopy of leaves. She finds her way and we sit down, her back against the tree trunk "I first met the others out here..." she muses, unscrewing the lid from her bottle and taking a sip, smiling "Yeah, you also screamed and ran away from me when I tried to kiss you..." Bella raises an eyebrow and purses her lips for a moment, then laughs, before she turns towards me, places a hand on my cheek and absently rubs her thumb over my jaw, her caramel eyes half lidded and dazed as she leans in, pressing a nervous, feather light kiss to my lips.

She tastes of sprite and vanilla, my hands rest against her hips, I deepen the kiss, sucking on her lower lip, hear her breath catch in her throat, our teeth clash and there's a breathless laugh before our lips meet again passionately, her hands tugging at my hair, and I pull back to let her breath, ducking my head to press a kiss to her neck. Then I see it. The pulsing vein, throbbing in time to her quickening heartbeat, and being stupid, I carry on anyway.

A monster roars, rattling in my chest, and I am not myself.

My dizzy girl is pinned against a tree, a savages hands pressing into her flesh, digging in enough to leave bruises against her hips and neck. Then the horror lunges forward, his dark eyes unreadable as his teeth scrape at the delicate skin of her throat, and she's pleading quietly. Telling Jasper to breath, to let her go, to wake up and realize what he's doing.

He's gasping, spluttering, apologising over and over as he releases her, stumbling backwards, out of the shelter of the willow tree. Her hand reaches out, arm extended as she asks him to wait, to sit and talk to her. It's too late, he's gone, up and running and tearing out of school grounds. She's furrowing her brows, trying to pinpoint where it all could have gone so pear shaped, shaking and huddling further into the warmth of his leather jacket and the comfort of his grass and hay smell still stuck to it, holding a hand against her neck and feeling where his teeth rubbed against her skin. No blood, just a stinging and an almost crushing sense of confusion and loss.

She draws in an unstable breath, stands up and runs a hand through her hair , chewing on her lip and wondering what she did wrong, what could have caused such a vicious reaction. Bella knows the stories, Jacob spun her the legends of the cold ones and the wolf men while walking on a beach in a misguided attempt to be flirtatious. A reaction so... Vampire.. it couldn't be purely coincidence.


	10. Angela

**Wooo woo chapter number ten! ^_^ just an fyi, that the drama surrounding Jacob and the wolves will be kept to a minimum, because that's not the focus of my story, I feel like in the original twilight books there was too many little 'sub stories' centred around the bella/jacob relationship, so I'm trying to keep away from that. Thanks for your support so far!**

**Edward pov**

I'm lied on the couch, flicking lazily through tv channels when Jasper runs through the door, and bounds up the stairs to Carlisle's study, and as he passes by I catch a glimpse of his face, distorted with fear, anger and confusion. So I follow him.

"Carlisle" he's breathing heavily, resting his head against the wall "I can't do this, Carlisle. I gotta go, I have to leave, back to Texas or Maria or something I can't stay here, I just can't" Carlisle isn't flustered, just folds over the page in his book and sets it on the desk before turning to Jasper with concern in his eyes "Mind telling me why, son?" he asks, walking over to place a hand on his shoulder "I'm sure everyone would respect your decision, but we should talk about this first.." he clenches his eyes shut, shoulders shaking, and if he were human, I'm sure he'd be crying.

"I tried to bite her, Carlisle" he chokes out, running slowly through the story in his mind, for my benefit. I feel sick, but after analysing the sight I see it wasn't a move driven by thirst, but desire. He didn't want to bite her. He wanted to mark her. I keep this thought to myself, exchanging an eyebrow raise with Carlisle, hoping he'd see the same thing. "I- I could have killed her! I'm not safe, not for her not for anyone, I have to go!" Carlisle sighs, moves around to sort a stack of books "Was it to draw blood..." he starts, his minds eye already moving to an older Bella as a vampire "Or to mark her" he finishes, turning his head back towards him.

At that suggestion, Jasper punches the wall, growling obscenities and grabbing Carlisle's collar "What right does that give me?" he yells, shaking his body "She's just a girl! I could have killed her!" Carlisle just shrugs out of his grip, shaking his head "But you didn't, Jasper, you did the right thing and realized what you were doing before it was too late. Isn't that just a sign you should stay? That you need her?" he skirts around the word mate, clearly not wanting to startle him.

His face twists, and he runs a hand through his hair "she deserves better, Carlisle" he reasons "she can do so much better" Carlisle frowns, pats his shoulder "Jasper, if it hurts you to be away from her, then it hurts her to be away from you. Don't forget that. She needs you as much as you need her, and I know you're a good enough person not too put her through such pain just because you think 'she can do better'" with that, he grabs his doctors coat and makes the excuse that he'll be late for work before leaving the house.

There's a knock at the door. The smell of vanilla, books and cherry cola. Jasper shakes his head at me "Leave it, Edward." I raise an eyebrow, heading out the room "If you don't answer it I will..."

He growls, shoves past me muttering about instability and putting innocent girls in danger.

**Jasper POV (warning a few paragraphs down might be triggering to you)**

I storm over to the door, taking a deep breath to steady myself, then realizing the mistake when hit with cherry cola and divine blood smell. So, I grit my teeth, set my shoulders and after putting on my face sincere apology face I opened the door.

There she stands. My blind angel... Vampire. Wearing a black cape with red lining, false plastic fangs with her arms raised up. I barely have time to register what's going on before a breeze whips past and the cape blows forward over her head.

I have to laugh. She's trying to tell me she knows I'm a vampire in the most adorable way, and it's all going to pot. She sighs, pulls the cape off and takes out the teeth, shrugging her shoulders "Okay... So that pretty much blew. I guess the point of.. whatever this stupid fucking impulse was is that... Okay I thought the stories were just bull crap when Jacob told me them but.. They have their merit okay! And maybe I'm crazy and making a total idiot of myself but I can't ju-"

I kiss her then. Say damn it all and just kiss her. Because she is a girl, stood on my doorstep by a discarded vampire cape and plastic fangs, with pretty brunette hair and a face as stunning as her personality. She deserves a kiss. It's fumbling and a little awkward to start, since she's mid sentence and still trying to right her mouth after the plastic fangs, and she's stood a few feet away, but it's lovely. She's shocked for a moment, but steps forward and onto her tiptoes to wrap her arms around my shoulders, making a soft noise in the back of her throat.

"I don't care" she whispers, breathless and clinging onto my neck for balance "Whatever you are if I'm right or wrong I just don't care... I need you" I sigh, drop my head onto her shoulder "I could kill you" I argue "One swing of my arm and I could crush your skull" she just raises an eyebrow, and though there's definite fear, there's also certainty and determination... Affection. "Boy you really know how to get a girl going huh" she jokes, pushing a hand through my tangled hair, chuckling into my ear "You could kill me." she repeats, her nails tracing light, distracting patterns across my neck "you could break my heart..." she smiles, her nails digging into my skin "or.. I could become one of your best memories in all the forever you have to live"

I sigh, pull her closer, my arms around her hips "I don't want memories" she looks confused for a moment, so I kiss the bridge of her nose, between her creasing eyebrows "I want you... but you have to go, you should go" Peter steps onto the porch, apparently hiding in the shadows "Don't make me punch you, dude. Any idea what this chick just did for you?" he pauses to ruffle her hair "Turns up at Bennie's, demanding to see me, of course, steps into my office, and asks outright if I'm a vampire. I say no, figuring it's something the two of you should talk about..." he reaches into his pocket, his face and mood turning sour as he pulls out what looks like a Stanley blade.

Bella cringes into my side, away from his glaring eyes "So she pulls this out and threatens to drag it across her wrist if I don't start talking. Then, I gave her a ride here obviously, because, y'know, she's crazy" She's clinging tightly to me now, as I try to create some distance so I can see her face. She's shaking her head, trying to turn away, grab for the blade, which Peter quickly crumbles in his hand when he sees her direction. Blinking back tears, she gathers her courage and looks me dead in the eyes. "you want all cards on the table? Fine. I used to self harm, and yes, I still know how to get hold of a blade when I need one, but I don't, not any more, I didn't even when I went to Peter, I just needed my answer and I needed it fast."

she sighs, rubbing the palms of her hands over her eyes "it was stupid, and dramatic but it got me here. To the vampire that I needed to know that I know is a vampire, but to be fair you did just try to bite me a while ago so you can't really talk down to me about this" she folds her arms, and Peter, always the one to try and lighten up any situation snaps his fingers in a z shape and shakes his head. I glare until he gets the message, turns around and leaves.

I take Bella's arm, walk her through the house and out to the back garden. "Okay dizzy love, okay.. You wanna talk? Let's talk" she sighs, rolls the sleeves of her shirt up to reveal shiny skin coloured thick, raised lines along her forearms, criss crossing over like crazy "It was years ago.." she starts "Anyway the bottom line is I went too far, passed out from blood loss and Renee found me, got me help, and anti depressants, and I got better."

my mind is overloaded, attacked with images of Bella, hair matted with dry blood, lying on the floor, out cold, eyes closed, hand curled around a deadly blade, blood slowly leaking from her arms. Bella, heart beating in a jerky rhythm, twirling a blade between her fingers before pressing it into her skin, slicing it across her arm. Hooked up to tubes, machines beeping in the hospital around her...

"Jasper? Jasper!" shaking my shoulders, cloudy eyes panicked and wide "Jasper! Say something! You sound like you're about to burst into tears or burn the fucking house down, snap out of it! Please!" I wrap an arm around her waist, crushing her body against mine, running a hand through her hair "I need you, too" the admittance is difficult, now she's stuck with me. She just chuckles, one hand splayed out across my back, her chest rising and falling subtly with each breath as she steps back to place both hands on my shoulders "You just gotta tell me.. Kay? If things are too rushed or something is too dangerous for us to do? I'll understand, you'll just be trying to keep me safe"

I hmm, kissing her forehead "We can talk more later, text when you want picking up from Angela's house and if you want after we can go back to your place and discuss things..." she frowns, but nods, tapping her nails against my shoulders.

**Bella POV, Angela's house**

"So.. Why exactly was I invited here under the guise of bio homework in the first place, Angie?" I ask, swinging my leg from the barstool chair she has in the kitchen as she bakes something that smells so fucking delicious I don't know weather I'll want to eat it or ask it out to dinner "Because you'd never come over otherwise, I may be quiet but I know a fellow introvert when I see one, and I knew having a broad circle of friends would help you settle in, plus you just seem pretty nice, so why not"

I'm taken back for a moment, un sure how to respond. There's a clutter, the click of an oven switch "Besides, I didn't know how much.. hold Jasper had" I must look pretty confused, so she continues "Bella the two of you exploded into this whole relationship pretty fast... This is a small town and people get suspicious.. Not that we're judging or anything! I just want to make sure everything is good" I laugh, shrug my shoulders "Angie I really like him, I promise everything is great" she laughs, sounding relived "good, good. Make sure it stays that way, right?"

**an hour later**

Angie pulls me into a quick, but tight hug "Come over again any time, Bellsie" she says, giggling as Jasper and I say our goodbyes and head to the car, no doubt on the way to one of the most daunting conversations i'll have in a long time.

**I dislike that abrupt ending but it was on the verge of getting too long so yeah, this chapter was gonna go a totally different way but it does what it wants! This story isn't going to get too dark very often, but it will go there from time to time, so yeah**


	11. Charlie

**Hells to the yeah, lets do this mother. I will warn you now that serious conversations aren't usually my forte, so I hope this is good.. and yes, I make up the teams for the soccer game. I know nothing about soccer.**

**Jasper pov**

I'm sat on the bed, and she's stood against her door, chewing on her lip "Don't be angry" she whispers "there's another one" and I struggle to process her words as she feels around her room until she reaches the vanity, and manages to prise the mirror away from its backing, to let the second Stanley blade I've seen today fall to the ground with a quiet clinking sound. She picks it up and swivels around, her fingers curled delicately, pressing into her skin just enough to create crescents of pale skin on the tips of her fingers. Her breaths labour in her throat, and tears well up in her tawny hazel eyes.

"I d-don't know why I even bought them... Charlie had told me what every store was and I went past one night walking back from grocery shopping and I couldn't stop myself. It's like a safety net.. new town.. new people. I was scared" a single tear trails down her cheek, and I walk over to wipe it away, gently tugging her bottom lip out from under her teeth with my thumb, watching as the crease between her eyebrows smooths out, her shoulders drop. She presses the blade into my palm, digging her nails into my shoulder "I don't need it.. not really" she murmurs, as if she's talking more to herself than me.

I shape my hand into a fist, crumbling the thin blade inside. I scoop Bella up, for fear that he legs are about to give out, and walk us back over to sit on the bed, my back against the head rest "Why did you do it" I can't help but ask. Her body presses closer to mine, she places a kiss on my cheek "Because I couldn't see" she mumbles against my skin, regret swirling around her "I couldn't see a thing and it was terrifying, waking up to total darkness. Telling yourself just to open your eyes and knowing that you already have, that this is your world now. Total nothingness. I felt like I had nothing left. I couldn't see so all I had to reassure myself that I could still _feel_, and pain is one of the most obvious feelings to experience."

For a while we sit in silence, then she continues "I didn't plan on it getting so out of control. Just a reassurance I told myself, just something to make sure I'm still alive.. It all got so out of control so fast, like I needed it just to get through a day... I couldn't see so why did it matter what my body looked like." I slid my arm down to wind around her waist, pulling her closer still "Still beautiful" I murmured, kissing the top of her head "a few months passed and I had to go visit the doctor.. like every other month. This time he told me that I'd never be able to see again.." her voice trails off towards the end, nails digging into my neck, breathing jagged and short "I just went crazy, smashed my entire room too pieces... then myself, too. I was out cold by the time Renee got back from work"

she curls up, hands fisted in my t-shirt, face pressed into my neck "can we change the subject now?" she asks, her lips brushing against my skin. I take a moment to wonder at how that could have been significant if she were a vampire before I talk "y'know some vampires have special skills? Like Peter has heightened intuition, Alice sees the future, Edward can read minds and I can change your emotions" she laughs into my neck, her hand tangling itself in my hair "but Edward can't read your mind.. like there's a block or something. Me and Emmett have speculated that if you were a vampire, that'd be your skill, mental shielding"

She nods, curiosity heightened "tell me more about.. Vampires?" I laugh at her tone of voice, worried, like she'll offend me by saying it or something. I tilt my head so we're facing each other, and we talk about vampires and blood and death and other such macabre nonsense. I skirt around mating and changing, knowing its far too soon to get into such topics. I play with her hair, our hands twining together, legs tangled in a lazy heap. It doesn't take long for her to doze off, head resting on my shoulder.

I watch her sleep for a while, creepy as it sounds, but she looks beautiful. Relaxed, lips tilted up in a slight smile.

There's a crash of the door slamming far too soon for my liking, and Bella is jolted awake "Iyah! Charlie must be home... I haven't cooked dinner" I chuckle, secure my arms around her waist and pull her back as she flails wildly. "Cool it dizzy love, walk at a human pace! Too soon for me to meet your father?"

She considers for a moment, then shrugs "Nah, the games on tonight anyway, talk like you understand soccer and you'll be fine" she kisses my cheek and jumps up, dragging me with her down the stairs as she rubs the sleep from her eyes "Bells, is that you?" Charlie calls from the living room, eyes already glued to the tv "Yeah dad.. Sorry I didn't make dinner, I was hanging out with Jasper." that has his attention, and he swivels in his seat. Looks me up and down "Jasper Cullen, right" he gets up and walks into the kitchen, and that's when I noticed he hasn't unstrapped his gun belt yet. Not that it would do me any damage, but it wouldn't be confidence boosting for anyone if he tried to shoot the man dating his daughter "Yes chief swan that's me"

I shake his hand, giving him a small indulgent smirk "Staying for dinner, Jasper? I was about to suggest we order a pizza" he doesn't seem like my biggest fan, and he doesn't seem to trust me all that much, but he doesn't feel angry, so I'll take that as a positive. Bella steps onto her tiptoes, mumbling in my ear "Go watch tv with him, he'll start the conversation, and for fucks sake laugh at his jokes" she smiles at my panicked expression, pulling me in for a chaste kiss before patting me on the shoulder and giving me a gentle shove towards the living room.

I hear her picking up the phone to make the order, turn back to see her twirling the phone cord around her finger before she gives me a short glare, and I give a mock salute as I turn back around. I sit down on the lounge chair, turning my gaze to the screen "What do you think chief? My bet is on the Bostons for this game... they've been having a great season" Charlie grunts, turning to me "You a soccer fan, Jasper?" I nod "Yes, coming from Texas I think its mandatory" he laughs, nodding his head thoughtfully "yeah, sounds about right, you got a good eye there, I reckon the Bostons could take this entire season if they keep the right players in the field"

Bella drifts into the living room, perching on the arm of the chair I'm in and throwing her legs out to rest on the other, winking at me cheekily "Pizza will be here soon, I got to plain and a pepperoni, you two having fun?" Charlie grunts, clearly more focused on the game, and she rolls her eyes affectionately, leaning down to kiss me on the cheek "he likes you" she whispers, yelping when I grab her waist and pull her onto my lap, tickling her mercilessly. She tries to bat away my hands, squirming "Jahs- Jasper stop- stop it!" she begs between laughs, legs kicking in the air.

The doorbell rings. "Alright love birds" Charlie sighs, pushing himself up from the couch to get the pizza "You two can put in a movie if you want" he comments, dropping two of the boxes on the coffee table "I'll finish watching the game upstairs" he lumbers up the stairs, and only then do I stop, hit in the shoulder by a breathless Bella "You're such a dickwad" she tugs a lock of my hair, struggling out of my arms and onto the couch to get pizza.

When I join her she's flicking through the movie selection on sky and munching on pizza. She quickly settles on shutter island "Oh how romantic" I joke, nuzzling my nose against her hair. She giggles, snuggling into my side "shutup it's my favourite film like ever.. You don't mind if we have audio titles on do you?" I wrap an arm around her waist, letting her head settle on my shoulder "course I don't dizzy" she grins, kisses my cheek, and starts the movie.

**After the movie..**

One movie and some making out later, Charlie comments that it's getting late, so I get up to leave. At the door Bella pulls me into a tight hug "Come hang out later?" she asks "I'll leave the window open" we kiss, my hands lingering against her hips "I trust you" she whispers, brushing a hand along my jaw before walking back inside and closing the door.

**Bella POV**

"Go on, out with it" I joke, slumping into the living room chair that still smells of Jasper. Charlie sighs, makes a sound like he's thinking "I like him" he finally concludes, elaborating after I give him what must have been a look of surprise "No, seriously. He doesn't seem bad... and with Carlisle as a father you can bet he's a gentleman, too. You chose good, Bells" I hear him get up, he ruffles my hair "I'm going to bed, don't be up all night kiddo"

I sit around for a while longer, tapping my nails against my legs.

Once I can't hear Charlie bustling about any longer I jump up and run up the stairs, stumbling and crashing into the wall once or twice on the way to my bedroom, knowing as soon as I'm through the door that Jasper is in here "you took your time" he chuckles quietly, standing up -he was on the bed- and walking over to me "So, am I to consider today a success?" he asks, pulling me close by my waist and pressing a kiss to my forehead, his hair scratching against my cheeks.

"Charlie likes you" I shrug as we move to sit together, in the same spot as before, legs tangled, heads pressed together. Sweet grass and hay, vanilla and cherries. "I never got to see Edward.." I muse, laughing. Jasper sighs, passing a hand through my hair "Perhaps that's for the best, I know I'm not one to say such.. But he isn't the most stable person around.."

I hmm in the back of my throat, rest my head against his shoulder "How did you meet him? Edward" Jasper shifts slightly underneath me, tightens his hold at my waist "Well.. It's connected to how I met Alice, really" he starts "She's the first one I met, see.. in a diner in Texas" he keeps talking, but I loose the ability to distinguish the words from the enchanting lull of his voice, my eyes closing of their own accord as I drift off to sleep, the last thing I register being a press of cool lips to my cheek.


	12. Bella

**Sorry for the wait on this one, i've been ill then on holiday then just totally lacking inspiration blegh, lets hope you enjoy this to make up for it, I plan to have some cute bella/jasper in here 3**

**Bella POV, same night. Dream.**

_Warm air against bare arms, a sky too bright to look at for too long. Laughter and colour and cool water and Jasper, as I see him, blurry and glitchy but Jasper all the same.. Dizzy and un-coordianted, I stumble through the shallows of the lake, arm reached towards where he treads water in the middle, his eyes coaxing and mischievous. Finger tips touching, pulling me towards him, arms around my waist with lips tilted up the lazy smile that says I'm right where he wants me and it didn't even take a trap. That was the plan._

_Rolling hips and clashing teeth and groping hands with a build up of heat just there. Friction right where I need it but not enough. Closer and warmer but always space between us somewhere.. messy kisses and wet hair. Never enough. Delight. Just me and Jasper and bare skin and nothing in our way. A love that is eternal.. Something that doesn't seem so ridiculous when I put Jasper in that picture. _

**Jasper POV, Cullen house.**

"Where have _you _been all day, lover boy?" is the first thing I hear when I walk through the door. Rosalie "At Bella's house" I answer with a grin, walking over to muss up her hair in the frizzy kind of way that keeps it static for hours "I met her dad.. he likes me" Peter is still here, so I can only assume that he filled them all in, and he gives me a nod to indicate that is indeed correct.

"She's fine" I promise them with a sigh, tugging a hand through my hair "It's private, she wouldn't want me talking about it with all of you." they all give a respectful nod, and Alice shoots me a look of sympathy with a small shrug

"It wont last you know" Edward cuts in, deftly shuffling through a pack of cards out of boredom, only elaborating when I take a step closer to him "Something will go wrong. You'll scare her away or she'll just leave. Worst comes to worst, which is highly likely..." Alice grabs his shoulder, shaking her head at him.

"You will kill her" he finishes regardless and there's a moment, one silent, stunned still moment where everyone turns their heads to the two of us, and Peter is already reaching out towards me. Too late. The idea, that someone could suggest i'd even hurt her is mind boggling.. but kill her? I never would. Never could. Not her. My Bella.  
>I lunge towards him, teeth barred. Daring him to fight back. A pair of arms around my waist, Rosalie steps in front of me smoothly as I see Carlisle drag Edward away. Flailing, kicking, trying to get to him. He doesn't deserve whatever kind of half life he has. Doesn't deserve to still have every limb attached and I would very much like the pleasure of ripping them off myself. "He's not worth it Jasper!" Peter repeats, tugging me backwards and out the door, out to fresh air.<p>

Rosalie pulls out her phone. Then there she is, or close enough. Bella, on the other end of the phone. Her voice low and quiet and rough with sleep. Safe. I grab for the phone and the the gods when Rosalie hands it over, holding it up to my ear "are you safe" I whisper, agitated, eyes clenched shut. Terrified even though I know what she's going to say "Of course I am" she replies in a soothing voice. I relax, Peters arms dropping from around me as he punches me in the shoulder before walking back inside

"I'm safe, I'm still at home in bed, just where I was when you left alright?" there's a rustle, a sigh and a defeated laugh "I miss you" she admits, and I can't help the smile that curls up at the corner of my lips "We'll see each other tomorrow, sweet. Would you like to do something this weekend? Just the two of us? You can pick, even if it's homework I'd like to spend the day with you.."

**The following saturday (because school days get tedious as fuck)**

We chose to spend the day by the lake with a picnic, some blankets and an I pod. The weather is on our side, the sun is shining, and for now we sit in the shade, talking while she eats. She's clad in a pair of denim shorts and a rich blue tankini swimming top, and I can't help my gaze straying to gaze at the soft curve of her waist, the riding up material and the swell of her boobs above the low cut-

"Jasper!" she laughs, clicking her fingers in front of my face. I catch her hand and rest it against my cheek, revelling in the warmth radiated by her palm, smiling gently "Sorry love, I got distracted.. What were you saying?" she giggles, and the high tinkling sound has my smile stretching wider "I said.. Wanna go for a swim?" Then she's up and running, dragging me along, laughing and falling.

I reach an arm out to grab her by the hip, steadying her before she hits the ground. She's out of breath, and I brush a lock of hair away from her eyes, a blush staining her cheeks as she coughs nervously, taking a step back, hands still intertwined until she lets go, her lips curling up into a smirk as she turns towards the water, breaking into a run before leaping off the edge and diving into the water, hugging her legs and laughing. She resurfaces with a flip of her hair, crooking her fingers and motioning for me to join her "C'mon!" she yells, "The waters great!" it didn't take much more for me to wade my way into the lake, catching her around the waist when she tried to splash me "Easy there dizzy" I whispered, my hand brushing down her spine, delighting in the small shiver that chased after it, her breath catching in her throat. There's a gleam in her dark eyes and she pushes forward, arms draped around my neck, lips pressed together in a hasty, hair tugging kiss.

**Bella POV**

I've had this dream before. Tugging at his hair, pulling him closer.. closer. We break apart, I breath in and he's back, biting on my lower lip, cool hands gripping at the soft skin of my hips enough to leave marks, maybe even bruises. There's a moan.. a growl and a frantic beating heart belonging to someone somewhere in the middle of lips and teeth and roaming hands. Its all too much too fast but still not nearly enough for me. I feel across the bare expanse of his chest, muscles twitching under my fingers and one hand curls around the back of my neck, a thumb hooking into the belt loop of my shorts, keeping me glued where I am.

He lets go, hands trailing along my legs before pulling me up. My heels dig into his lower back, my hips rolling forward in a way far too needy for what can probably be considered only our second real date. Jasper doesn't seem to mind, squeezing my ass, laughing into my mouth at my small squeal.

Then someone leans too far. The sensation of falling. Someone curses and then-

Splash.

Under water. I panic, but Jasper is still close, arms wound securely around my waist as he drags us back up to the surface, laughing. "Well that's one way to cool off" he jokes, faking pain when I thump his shoulder, rolling my eyes "You're such a jerk wad" I complain, yelling in protest when he swings a hand under my knees, scooping me up into his arms. It doesn't last long and I wind my arms around his neck, resting my head against his chest as he walks out to sit under the shade of a tree, playing with my hands "Pick one word to describe today" he muses. I have to consider for a while before answering "sunshine. Now you pick one?" he laughs his gentle you're-so-adorable laugh, running a hand down my arm  
>"Bella"<p> 


	13. Birthday

**Plan to have some cute Bella/Peter bonding time in this chapter.. lets hope it goes that way.**

**A few months later, (Now September) Cullen house, Bella POV**

Laughter surrounds me, and warmth. A house full of ice cold vampires and I'm surrounded by warmth.. It would be that way. I can't help but think human life maybe doesn't sit quite right with me. I haven't discussed it with Jasper yet, but I want to be with him. Forever as one of his kind if he'll have me. Not yet of course, I have too many things left to do, but one day..

It's my birthday and Alice offered to throw me a party.. I drafted in Rosalie to keep an eye on things, and make sure it didn't get too extravagant. Per my request we're just spending the night together with tv, presents, and pizza for me. Peter and Charlotte are here too, and she's rather taken a shine to me, Jasper says. I'm happy to count her amongst my close friends. Peter is still icy, avoids being alone with me, doesn't really talk to me much...

A few weeks ago Charlotte snapped and explained the concept of a mate too me. To my eyes it seemed slightly redundant, and I suddenly felt as if she was trying to warn me that Jasper was going to run off with some other girl. Then she explained how Peter made her feel, and told me that if that was how I felt for Jasper, then he'd never leave my side. It's reassuring. A little shocking, but nice. Jasper is my mate. Apparently a human mate is unheard of, so it's flattering to say the least, and the thought of being with Jasper forever like I want to filled me with a warm fuzzy feeling.

Jasper places a small wrapped parcel in my hand, his arm looped around my waist in a style that's become comforting and familiar.  
>"It's not much" he sighs, pressing a cool kiss to my temple. I unwrap it slowly, grinning when it opens, but shooting him a confused look when all I feel is a smooth surface. He chuckles, and guides my hands to the front and pushes it open.<br>"a necklace" he explains as he places it around my neck. I can practically feel his nerves as I reach up a hand to find that there's a rectangle of metal a few inches below the column of my throat with a message embossed on in braile.

_I love you_

I suck in a breath, blink back tears, turn my head towards the door. He understands and we get up, walking outside into the air of the night. It's not exactly private with their super senses, but the illusion is good enough for me.  
>"You mean it?" I whisper, reaching up to twine my hands around his neck "Bella swan I'm offended that you would think otherwise" he states, and I can hear the lop-sided smirk in his voice<br>"I love you. Forever, if you'll allow me too" his request is whispered, and his voice cracks at the end as he draws his thumb across my cheek to rest it against my jaw.  
>"Oh.. I think I could make the time. I love you, Jasper Whitlock" it's a perfect moment wrapped up in silence and kissing. When we get back inside everyone acts like they weren't listening, me and Jasper share a laugh. I can't find it in me to care right now, and that's hardly surprising..<p>

**Peter pov, ten minutes later**

Bella now possesses a teddy bear from Emmett 'to remind her of me' a clingy dark red flapper dress from a vintage store from Rosalie, a first edition braile Alice In Wonderland from Carlisle and Esme, some multi-coloured bracelets of various materials from Alice, a CD of specially written pieces of piano music from Edward, and several vouchers for clothes shops from me and Charlotte as well as the necklace from Jasper, and now she's sat outside on her own getting some fresh air whilst Esme cleans up pizza crumbs and Jasper flicks through the movie selection, his eyes flickering from me to the door. I get the message in the end and begrudgingly walk out onto the porch, to see Bella sat with her back against a tree on the edge of the forest, hugging her legs and wearing a thoughtful expression.

"Mind if I sit" I ask, dropping to the ground when she shrugs, gesturing to the space to her left  
>"You know.. I've known Jasper for a long time" I start, waiting until she turns to face me with one eyebrow raised to continue<br>"I was changed by Maria too, and when I found my mate in Charlotte the two of us succeeded in escaping her because Jasper saw our love, and didn't try to stop us. A few years later I went back for him.. I regret not doing it sooner... I could have prevented so much damage" I figure there's no reason to keep the truth from her, she's as good as vampire now.  
>"I eventually convinced him to come back with us.. He's the closest I have to a brother, he and Charlotte are the very core of my universe, Bella"<p>

She sighs, nods in understanding then asks "Is that why you don't approve of me" I'm slightly taken back. True, I was a little cold towards her because I was uncertain of the strength of her relationship with Jasper, and I didn't want him to get hurt, humans are so fickle. I didn't know she felt that bad, though, and if Jasper really means it when he says he loves her, which of course he does...  
>"I approve completely of you, Bella. It's official now, you and Jasper are the real thing, and you're family. Forever" It's a promise, and I can't help but feel like it should have been a grander gesture. For her, it's enough.<p>

There's a sparkle in her eyes, and a smile grows on her lips as she leans over and pulls me into a sudden hug, squeezing my shoulders and laughing. I can't help but wrap my arms around her, holding a breath in my throat just in case before letting go and pushing her back.  
>"Alright now candy cane, that's quite enough hugging, I'm sure Jasper would fail to see the funny side if I munched on his girl" she giggles, pushes herself up off the floor and motions for me to follow her inside<br>"Y'know Peter, I think you and I will be okay" she smiles, pressing a feather light, friendly kiss on my cheek before stepping through the door.

When I get inside there's some kind of vote going on and I catch up quick to the fact that Bella doesn't want to impose herself on the family if she isn't wanted. The result is unanimous and there are hugs all around, and now that I know it I can't believe I didn't see it earlier.. Bella and Jasper are everything to each other. He looks at her like she holds all the secrets of the world and all he feels he deserves to know is the weather, and he can't quite believe she's giving him the code to the universe. How that can be conveyed just by his eyes I can't understand, but I imagine I look at Charlotte the same way. Speaking of my lady, she rushes up to me with a smile on her face and a kiss for me, hugging me close  
>"She's family, for certain" she whispers knowingly, giving me a glare that says if I mess this up she'll rip my dick off. Not like it hasn't happened before.<p>

**Jasper pov**

It's funny how a vampire mind is built to hold so many thoughts, but right now every one of mine seems to be focused on the girl I hold in my arms. Isabella Marie Swan. Right now, I really don't see how things could get any better..

**Later that evening, swan house, bella pov**

After being dropped off back home and kissed goodnight with promises to talk soon, it hits me how much this one evening has changed my life. I'm about to open the door when I hear heavy steps and turn around, clutching my keys in panic  
>"Calm down Bella, it's just Jacob" he laughs, and I release the breath I was holding in, giving him a smile<br>"Hey Jake, long time no see" sarcasm. I saw him this morning, and I worry over why he's stood at my doorstep this late.

"It's about Jasper" he starts, and my mind immediately jumps to the worst things, but of course it couldn't be..  
>"He's not what you think he is, Bella.. He's dangerous" of course. He thinks I took the legends to be just that..<br>"You mean a vampire, Jacob?" I can hear his sharp intake of breath, and he steps closer. I press myself against the door  
>"He's not dangerous, he loves me" I protest, cursing that he already left when Jacob places his hands either side of my shoulders, trapping me<br>"Jasper would never hurt me, he couldn't" I continue rambling, hoping to set him off whatever war path he's created  
>"Besides it's not like you can talk, if he's really a vampire then you're really a wolf, which is just as bad if not worse" the door is trembling and I know it's Jacob. I'm scared.<p>

I make a conscious decision to tell Alice about this tomorrow, hoping its enough to save me. In the mean time I keep talking, clinging to the thought that Alice will see this and nothing bad will happen..  
>"I can't leave him, Jacob." I state, realizing I've been paying no attention to what he's said. I can't just wait for someone to save me, I have to deal with this..<br>"Do you love him" he whispers, leaning closer to me. I nod, and he punches the door before stepping back. An apology tries to claw its way out of my throat, but I swallow it. Apologising wont help, and I have nothing to be sorry for.

"You should go, Jacob.. We can talk another time" I interrupt, wanting to put off whatever speech he prepared.  
>"Why can't we just talk now!" he growls, grabbing my arm tightly. I wince, trying to pull away<p>

"She said go, Jacob." Alice. He growls under his breath, momentarily tightens his grip on my arm before he leaves. I drag in a deep breath, being pulled into a comforting hug that smells of perfume and mint  
>"You're a genius" she compliments, ruffling my hair and laughing<br>"I'll keep this to myself, but you should tell Jasper" she sighs, pulling me into another hug before zooming off. I shake my head and turn around to finally open the door and walk inside, heading straight upstairs and collapsing onto my bed, too exhausted from the days events to want to do anything else.


	14. Surprise

**Thanks for your patience, I've been at Leeds festival, which was amazing! I've got a lot of ideas going for this story now, so just sit back and enjoy the ride..**

**Bella POV, drive to school the next day**

Jasper knows there's stuff on my mind. I have no idea where to start. Jacob. Mates. Me becoming a vampire. There's too much for one ten minute drive to school. He sighs, tapping his cool fingers against my cheek  
>"C'mon, I know there's something ticking away in there, I see it on your face" Jasper manages to choke out a laugh despite the serious and sombre nature of my emotions, and I'm grateful at his attempt to lighten my mood.<p>

"I saw Jacob last night" I start, figuring that is the least dramatic of my thoughts, and wanting that one over as fast as possible anyway.

Jasper growls, and I catch on to the fact that of course he knows what they are as well as I do  
>"He thinks you're dangerous" I continue, tugging a hand through my hair lazily<br>"I don't think he wants us to be together... He did use to have crush on me when we were kids, you know" the fact is enough to make me laugh, just like it did when I was younger. Jacob is fifteen. Still just a boy, even if he doesn't look like one, and I thought even less of him when I was younger myself.. he was just an annoying clingy brat who wouldn't let me do anything on my own.

"I am dangerous" Jasper comments, and its a protest I'm so used to that I barely bat an eyelid  
>"Not to you, never to you, but to him? Oh, I could be so dangerous" he chuckles, but I know he's not lying. He means people that stand in our way, and I understand. I could be dangerous to people that stand in our way, too. Still, Jacob is harmless enough.<br>"You don't have to hurt him, Jasper. I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it... he just worries about me, we're friends kind of, he isn't anything to worry about" I lean over and kiss his cheek, tugging his lips up into a smile

"Can we talk more later?" I ask, jumping out of the car  
>"Y'know, after school? We could hang out at yours and have some illusion of privacy? Plus I'd like to see Peter and Charlotte again, and Rosie wanted me to try on that dress so she can be sure it fits right..." Jasper hmms, idly wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me towards him gently<br>"Sure thing, cupcake, we can have dinner with Charlie first if you like" I nod, snuggling into his side for warmth and contact and buzzing electricity that has come to be the sensation that reminds me I am alive even if it doesn't look to me like I am.

**Cullen place, Jasper pov**

Bella dropped back onto the un-necessary bed I owned, which now smelled thoroughly of vanilla and sprite and diamonds and just her.. She let her head thunk into the pillows, her hair framing her face like some sort of brunette halo. She only started talking when I joined her, lying on my side, one hand trailing lazy patterns across her waist to ease her nerves as she began to talk

"Charlotte explained mates to me" my fingers stuttered, and I took a moment to realize the gravity of such a short sentence. I had a million things to ask, but Bella's mouth closed and opened like a goldfish, and I knew she still had so much more to say, so I let her continue, pressing my lips together to hold my silence.  
>"I think.." she started, twisting her body and running a hand through my hair<br>"That we are.. mates, I mean. At least... Charlotte told me how it makes you feel and that's.. I feel that way" she nibbled gently on her lower lip, and in that second I wanted nothing more than to press my lips over the dent that had formed in the soft pink skin there from all the times she had worried at it . Her hand had ceased to move, and she was giving me an expectant look, her fingers trailing over the delicate silver panel lying against her throat.

"I had hoped.. ah, I'm not good at this part but yes.. yes, you're right, as improbable as it is, you are everything to me" I confirmed, delighting in the way her lips slowly drew up in the purest smile and she lunged at me, arms wrapping around my torso in a hug that might have suffocated any human. Her fingers curled around my shirt, head pressed into my neck pressing delicate kisses along my jaw.

"Then that means.." she continued, reluctantly drawing away to roll onto her back once more, and my guttered mind dropped to what she might look like sat there in nothing... Her next words had my attention once more, though.

"You could change me if.. I mean if you want to. I want to be, of course... not yet though! No, I have too many things to do and- I want to finish school first of course, I could wait to go to college, Charlie might be a little irritated but he'd understand that and.. and we could travel and go everywhere and.. not yet, but I would like to be like you.. one day" she stuttered and stumbled and it was all I could do not to wrap her in cotton wool right this second because the girl was too damn precious for other people who would smash her and break her without a thought.

I answered her almost question be kissing the column of her neck, scraping my teeth along the skin gently and enjoying the slight jolt of her body, the rush of emotion. Lust. Anticipation. Happiness. Shock.

"Name the time and the place and it will be done. I couldn't bare to live without you" honesty. The least I can offer her for now is that. It's not like she doesn't know anyway. I watch her body relax, and she's obviously pleased to have the daunting conversations over with.

Footsteps. Outside the house. Three human heartbeats. Strangers drenched in excitement and anticipation and happiness. Esme opens the door. I'm far too interested in Bella's ministrations against the spot behind my ear to focus on the conversation, but I catch the words Bella, old friends, blind beggar and Charlie. Then our not-quite-a-make-out-session ends as Carlisle calls Bella downstairs, and shooting me a curious look we jump off the bed and head down to the living room, and I can see Bella drawing in deep breaths through her nose, brows furrowing together.

A tall lanky blond male, a petite girl with turquoise hair and a curvaceous grinning red-head all turn their eyes towards us, eyes lighting up and immediately calling out loud greetings and shouts when they see Bella. As soon as the voices reach her ears Bella whoops, and not caring to address the curious and confused people around her drops my hand and runs down the stairs towards the trio, and they pull her in for a large group hug, twirling her round and commenting about her hair and clothes and how they've missed her.

"We organized it with Charlie!" the bouncing turquoise girl has dull eyes and a solemn expression despite her emotions, and strikes me as in type to keep her thoughts and feelings closely guarded and she seems to be in charge, explaining to everyone that they're Bella's old band mates and pseudo family from Arizona, who dropped in to Forks to visit her over the weekend as a birthday surprise.

I quickly learn that the male is the drummer Kai, and brotherly affection washes over him as he regards Bella, pulling her in for a second, longer hug with whispered words of greeting and merriment. He dons skinny jeans and a kasabian t-shirt with sneakers. The red-head is Lucy who plays bass guitar and she keeps saying oh my god and clapping her hands in a very Alice like fashion, a ruffled mini dress swishing with each of her movements. She openly expresses her love for Bella, claiming it's been too long since they last spoke and she needs to email more often.

Emily, the quiet and reclusive girl wearing an army jacket and a velvet skirt plays lead guitar, and is the only one not to individually hug Bella, instead giving her a casual pat on the shoulder. Bella rolls her eyes like this is nothing new.

"We should go out for dinner tomorrow night! All of us!" Alice squeals, buzzing with excitement at the prospect of new people to make over and finally getting Bella into that red dress for a night out.

**Bella POV**

I like this. Surrounded by familiar smells and people, old friends and the new. A chaotic swirl of confusion and people come to visit sweeps my earlier conversation with Jasper under the carpet, as it should. My becoming a vampire should not be, is not, and will not be a big deal. The way I see it- pun intended- it's just a logical step in our relationship. If Jasper is allowed to stay eternally nineteen and alive, then I should be extended the same curtsey if I want to spend forever with him. It just feels right. For a change the idea of an Alice organized event appeals to me. Dinner with the Cullen's, my best friends and Charlie. My closest family. As for Renee? Well.. She was always more like a room-mate than a mother anyway, and I could fill her in and keep her amused with constant emails and pictures.

I take a step back from the crowd, and a cool, heavy arm rests against my shoulder. Emmett  
>"Not much of a crowd lover, are you doll face?" he chuckles, ruffling my hair. I shrug, lean against him and listen in on the various topics of conversation<br>"They make me feel uncomfortable, like I could be surrounded and I wouldn't know for sure" he makes a sympathetic noise in the back of his throat, squeezing my shoulder before he walks away. Emily sidles over, curls her pinky finger around mine and rests her head against me  
>"Lucy and Kai are secretly dating" she comments dryly, heaving a sigh and brushing a stray piece of hair from my face.<br>"They think I don't know yet, but everyone knows of course" Obviously. Last time I saw Lucy and Kai you could have cut the sexual tension in the air with a blunt knife, so this development is no surprise to me or my quirky friend

She wraps her arms around my shoulders now that she can be sure no one is watching, squeezing tight enough to pull me off balance  
>"I've missed you, dizzy izzy" the old nickname is close enough to what Jasper calls me to make me laugh, and I nod my head, leaning against her<br>"I missed you too, hippy" she laughs softly, releasing me and the sound is so rare and foreign from her that I'm proud I got it out

"Things at home got worse" is her next statement, voice thick with worry, I stay silent to let her continue  
>"I left... I've been living with Kai and his mother.. Saving up for my own place" Emily's brother suffers from paranoid schizophrenia, and the atmosphere often left both father and son very agitated, often arguing. Emily hated it. I'm glad she left.<p> 


	15. Dinner

**Profound apologies for the atrociously long wait, I have been incredibly busy. The area I live in got horribly flooded with all the rain. I hope a lovely dinner and maybe a little surprise near the end makes up for this..**

**Jasper pov the next day, benny's.**

Table for fourteen. The cullens, the whitlocks, the blind beggars and Charlie. Not an easy thing to get hold of the night before you want it, but Peter is a friend and he understands, and so we have a table for fourteen, even though only five are really eating.

Bella has been made up into a brighter, more blushing version of herself with flawless skin and long eyelashes and a dress that swishes with every delicate movement she makes and causes it to be practically impossible for me to stop noticing them and subsequently the girl herself. Every nervous shift of her hips, the combing of fingers through her mahogany hair, the twitch of her nose when she laughs.. and the crossing of her ankles, leading my eyes up the toned expanse of her legs, covered in black striped tights that just scream _touch me, _and you would not believe how willing I am to obey.

She wriggles closer, her cheek resting on my shoulder as she looks up at me, lights reflected in her eyes and a content smile on her lips.  
>"This is like home.." she whispers, words meant just for me. I know exactly what she means. Surrounded by the people we care about, all problems sorted out. This. These moments are the ones that make me glad I can remember everything. I hmm under my breath, wind an arm around her waist, drag my fingers across the fringing laying there, delighting in the quiet breathless laugh that results in. "Your friends seem wary of me" I comment, looking up to see Kai, Emily and Lucy all glancing in my direction before turning to whisper things that I've been trying not to hear to each other, as they have been most of the night<p>

Bella's laughing again, and this close I can see it shake her shoulders. "They've always been very protective of me, I'm the youngest" she looks over at Kai, who's looking at her with a glint in his eye but a serious expression "Kai is uh.. Probably the worst for that, I think. He lost his sister.. I guess I've been filling in a little, but we've always been close.. he's the first person I told about the whole.. cutting.. thing and he was always there. I used to call at ridiculous hours because I couldn't put a blade down or something wouldn't stop bleeding, but whatever it was he'd help." Kai is to Bella what Peter is to me. A brother, someone who has shared hardship with me and remained none judgemental of my past. A best friend.

Bella smiles and nods, as if she knows every word that just flew through my head, before turning back to the table just in time to laugh at a joke someone made that she didn't hear, and her hand sneaks under the table to trail her fingertips across my thigh in the lightest way that has me suppressing a shiver, tugging on a lock of her hair "What are you doing?" she just smiles, winks, and carries on.

**Drive home**

Bella and I drove here on our own. Alice insisted for some reason or another that I'm not certain of right now. Not that I'm focusing on that. No, more the way Bella is still trailing her fingertips across my thigh with her head resting on my shoulder and dreamy kitten half moan half sigh sounds drifting from between her lips, and what else I could do to elicit such heavenly noises.

"You're gonna have to stop that soon, princess" I chuckle, delighting in the way she opens her eyes to glance up at me, despite the lack of effect it has on what she herself sees. "Stop what?" she asks, innocence dripping from her tongue, a mismatch to the seductive and mischievous mood I know she's in.

I pull on to the hard shoulder and stop, twisting a hand through her hair and bending round to place a chaste kiss on her lips, smiling at her pout when I pull away "We gotta get home, dizzy love, I'm sure people wont appreciate it if we go missing..." Bella lifts her head, looking up at me from under her lashes and drawing swirling patterns against my chest in a way that makes concentrating on anything but her difficult "I think.." she starts, leaning in closer, the vanilla of her perfume washing over me "That the two of us.. might appreciate going missing... Just for a little while" and she pouts again, full lower lip jutting out calling for me to take it between my teeth and suck on it.

So then I did, placed my arms on her waist and picked her up, over the gear stick and onto my lap, in a dress I now realise is far too short to remain decent in such a position. I find myself not caring. The sudden movement catches Bella off guard, her teeth biting into my lip for a second before she's laughing, hands dragging through my hair as I apologise with an open mouthed kiss placed on the join between her neck and shoulder. I reach around to drop the back of the seat down, and somewhere loose my balance, ending up with Bella pressed up against the driving wheel, horn beeping and disguising the squeak of her giggle until I pull her away, lying her along the now horizontal seat.

"I'm sorry" she laughs again, hands around my hips, tugging me against her "It's ok" she sighs, tilting her head until our lips meet again. It doesn't take long for her to squirm her hands between us and begin tugging at shirt buttons until I'm topless, and I sit up again, pulling her with me until her legs wrap around my hips and she ducks her head to explore my chest, trailing sloppy kisses across my abdomen between laughs. The smell of vanilla and champagne clings to her, intensifying with every shake of her hair until its all I can smell. Just her. I pull the straps of her dress down her arms and leave the dress to pool at her waist, watching the shiver tingle through her at the sudden contact with cold air. She's getting as impatient as I am, rocking her hips against me.

"We can't" I sigh, reaching around to un caslp her bra so it falls somewhere "Then stop" she responds with a breathless laugh, tugging at the buckle of my belt with restless fingers before abandoning that to pull her dress up over her head.

_Stockings. _Not tights. Stockings. Bella is in stockings. Bella is in only stockings and underwear.

Now I know why Alice insisted we take my car.

"Bella this is too dangerous" I continue, sucking and nibbling on the swell of her chest to leave a dark impression only meant for me to see. She just hmms in the back of her throat.

**Bella POV**

_I certainly don't need to see to enjoy this. _It's enough as it is. Jasper, hands wrapped around my hips, fingers tapping at the small of my back rhythmically in time with the rough jolts of my body as I let my hands tangle in his hair, unsure of how far I can take this before he really does stop. There's a saner, more logical corner of my brain still ticking away and flashing warning signals at me, that I need to remember what Jasper is, how easily he could hurt me. The alarms only get quieter and quieter at every soft touch, as I am more convinced of my safety and more in need of him.

His cock is pressing against me in a way that reminds me what this playing around would lead too. Reminds me that I am so not ready for anything that sounds as ridiculous as sex with a vampire. Still, I don't want to stop. Don't think I could stop the magnetic force that kept my hands glued to any part of him I can reach. It's like a persistent ache bubbling under the surface of my skin. Telling me I need him close as physically possible. I need everything about him. The contradiction of my nerves and this unknown feeling make my head fuzzy and my breathing shallow.

There's a noise somewhere that isn't me or Jasper. A buzzing, like a phone. I ignore it. Whatever it is- impending doom or marriage proposal- it is not important. One of Jaspers hands leaves my side and I whimper at the loss of contact, satisfied when it quickly returns to press against my cheek, accompanied by his low chuckle. "Fun is over princess.. We have to get you home or Charlie will worry" I try my best to frown. I don't want to go home. He sighs, presses his forehead against mine "I got carried away. Projecting. Sorry, it was too much for you" I resent the statement immediately. Badly timed perhaps, but not too much. Not enough. He laughs again and kisses my bottom lip, which is still jutting out in my attempt to keep this going.

**Later that night, Bella's room.**

After saying goodnight to everyone I trudged up to my bedroom, zonked out by the busy day of activity. I know Jasper is there, and I pause nervously in the door way. After our detour the rest of the car journey had passed in almost silence... I hear him sigh and move from his position on the left side of the room, and when he gets to me he reaches past to shut the door slowly, leaning in and placing his free hand against my waist in a way that makes me shiver again. "Bella.." He starts, his voice low and quiet "its important we remember how... fragile you are in comparison to me" a hand runs down my arm "and that we need to be careful about our.."

**Jasper pov**

"Intimacy" Bella finishes for me dryly, raising one eyebrow at my inability to find a word less juvenile than make-out session.. I chuckle and take her hand, swinging it between us before she moves past me to go to the bathroom and brush her teeth. In some clever form of woman only magic she re-emerges with her face void of make-up wearing yoga shorts and a vest top, still brushing her teeth while she talks  
>"I mean.. its not like I didn't figure that out, y'know. You're a freakin' vampire.." her words are muffled until she wanders back into the bathroom and re-appears "We can talk more tomorrow" she promises with a sigh, collapsing into bed and snuggling into my side when I join her "stay for the night.." is mumbled half coherently, and my only response is to wrap an arm around her.<p> 


End file.
